knock knock? who's there? ted? ted who? stop f***ing around, you got cancer.

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I am a nigger.

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Kevin Spacey is Kaiser Solze

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What did the monkey say after its tail was run over by a lawnmower? It won't be long now.

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A man asks a young woman at a party if a rag smells like chloroform. She doesn't respond because she's passed out. He takes her to a nearby bedroom, rapes her, and leaves the party promptly. He'll probably victimize many other women with this method.

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If it wasn't for my horse I'd never go to college.

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Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!

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Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... whats worst than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

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Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

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Joker2? Who comes up with the names anyways? Sounds like a stupid version of the matrix... Anyways, I stutter because my nerves are killing me, I cant quit the painkillers cold turkey if I cant sleep without them, besides I am used to physical pain as tragic as that might sound... Its not when you get used to it. I need to know who this Neo-Nero was, for anyone that can tell me, he is not around here at these hours, and during the time he/she I was dead, did considerable damage to my and my orders reputation, I need a face to face talk to someone that would put aside my chosen successor and assume my role, and I wont let that happen again even if it means bruising up this Neo-me a bit.

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Do you know what lmnop is? No. A group of five consecutive letters.

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what does a squid and a worm have in commen they both are animals

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What's worse than a dead baby in a barrel? A dead baby in 8 barrels.

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What was the leg less and armless mans favorite type of music? Nubstep

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

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roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up you retarded poet!

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What did the fridge say when I opened it? Nothing.

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The tall man says; How's theweather downn there? he's talking to smurf

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Why did the little boy cry regularly? Because his father was sexually abusive.

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What did Hitler say to the Jew? I don't know, I don't speak German.

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yo mama so fat that the doctor asked for her weight not her phone number!

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Haikus are easy. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

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My friends told me they found a dead women....they said they pissed on her........that was my mom

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Why did the housewife become a farmer? Because the kitchen was burned down in a horrific accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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