A man is sitting at a bar. He stands up and goes over to these bikers playing pool. He then walks over to the bartender and says "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can pee in that bottle over there." The bartender looks at the bottle and sees there is a good five meters between the two. The bartender then agrees. The man takes out his penis and begins to pee. His pee stream goes everywhere on the bar, on the cash register, and espicially on the laughing bartender. It goes everywhere except inside the bottle. The man finishes and zips his pants. He then smiles at the bartender while handing him three hundred dollars. The bartender asks "why are you laughing you lost three hundred dollars?" Which the man replies "See those bikers by the pool table laughing?...I bet them five hundred dollars each that I could pee on your bar, on your cash register, and on your face and you would laugh and be happy." The bartender then reached under his bar and toke out his bat. He then continued to break the mans knees and then perceeded to pee on his bruised and battered face.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a gorilla with a banana in each ear? A gorilla with with a banana in each ear? Unless it has a name, then refer to it by it's name. be polite.

thumb_up thumb_down

Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. Are you a grapefruit? No.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the one armed, bearded man, in a wheelchair go to the mall ? He wished to purchase yogurt and Tiger woods 2007 for the ps2

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock. Who's there? Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down

once upon a time there was a girl named katie. she walked across the road. she got hit by a truck. now she's in heaven. the end,.

thumb_up thumb_down

what do you call a black man with a job? dont know, has never happened.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

how do u get a blonde to stay away from her credit card... i dont know im blonde

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many guys does it take to change a light bulb? Probably just one.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the husband always work late nights? he needed the extra hours to provide for his family

thumb_up thumb_down -2

You know what's catchy? A cold

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is an active member of a taliban.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Jorge eat Larry's face? He was on bath salt.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do people say when a dyslesic person scores a goal in soccer good job that was a nice goal

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Dad, they tell me I am a slowpoke at school, what can I do? ... Eh son, this is mommy, your dad died ten years ago remember?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

how do you wake up lady gaga? you set her alarm for the intended time

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Cheese stick

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red Violets are blue If i gave a rats ass I'd worry about you

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Their is a stripper, a prostitute, and a pole dancer on a plane that is about to crash. They all die.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you get if you mix razor blades with babies? An erection.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What weights more than a 300 pound man? A 400 pound man.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

meh

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops