- Anti Joke

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but GET IN THE VAN

Why does the man leave the store, with two lemons in his shopping bag? Because lemons happened to be one of the items of food he had purchased.

what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

If I threw a regular snowball at a random snowman, would my action directly result in the increase of the snowman's size or would it rather have caused to snowball to become substantially larger in succession? Only a few people could answer that question. Not all of us are actually philosophy aficionados after all.

did you know, that a Bear has 42 teeth? massive erection.

i just got all five seasons of big bang theory in the mail for xmas... i'm divorcing my wife.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To try and get hit by a car.

What's worse than stepping on legos? Massive genocide

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars...except for the duck

A guy orders soup at the resturant and says to the waiter, "will you try this soup?" The waiter says "what is it too hot?" the guy says "just try the soup." the waiter asks "Is it too cold?" the guy sais just try the soup." the waiter says "fine, where's the spoon?" AHAHHH!!!

how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

I just missed my bus. At least I haven't got cancer.

You know what's funny? Clowns.

What has legs but may never walk? A Vietam Vet

Pull my finger ouch..

Whats funnier than 2 dead babies? Seinfeld, and I hate Seinfeld.

Wanna know something funny? Your face

What can you conclude about a black man in a mercedes? He has crack and car insurance.

What do you get when you cross a turkey with a turtle? A bunch of nosy ass people wondering wtf you're doing.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

today i wanted to write a joke...... a joke

the little pink lady joke: There once was a little pink lady who lived in a little pink house. One day, she was in her little pink bed when her little pink doorbell rang. So she gets out of her little pink bed, puts on her little pink slippers, crosses her little pink room, openes her little pink door, goes down her little pink hallway, goes down her little pink stairs, and to her little pink door. She openes her little pink door, and there is a postman standing on her little pink mat. The postman says: "Does Mr Green live here?" The little pink lady said: "No." So she closes her little pink door, goes back up her little pink staircase, down her little pink corridor, into her little pink room, takes off her little pink slippers and hops into her little pink bed. Then her little pink doorbell rings again. So she gets out of her little pink bed, puts on her little pink slippers, crosses her little pink room, openes her little pink door, goes down her little pink hallway, goes down her little pink stairs, and to her little pink door. She openes her little pink door, and there is a postman standing on her little pink mat. The postman says: "Does Mr White live here?" The little pink lady said: "No." So she closes her little pink door, goes back up her little pink staircase, down her little pink corridor, into her little pink room, takes off her little pink slippers and hops into her little pink bed. And then her little pink doorbell rings again. So she gets out of her little pink bed, puts on her little pink slippers, crosses her little pink room, openes her little pink door, goes down her little pink hallway, goes down her little pink stairs, and to her little pink door. She openes her little pink door, and there is a postman standing on her little pink mat. The postman says: "Does Mr Brown live here?" The little pink lady said: "No." So she closes her little pink door, goes back up her little pink staircase, down her little pink corridor, into her little pink room, takes off her little pink slippers and hops into her little pink bed. Finally, its breakfast time, so the little pink lady gets out of her little pink bed, puts on her little pink slippers, goes out of her little pink room and to her little pink kitchen. Inside, there are 3 men. 2 are eating cheerios, 1 is eating an apple. This proves that cheerios are more popular than apples!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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