A pig, a chicken, and a cow are born on 3 separate barns. They are raised by old men who subside off the grains of the field. When the animals mature, the farmers will butcher the pig, slaughter the chicken, and gut the cow. The farmer who raised the chicken may enjoy a few eggs first but the animals will all die eventually. Either of natural causes or more likely being butchered for profit. Cows make milk.

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What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

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Why did the african jump in the swimming pool? Because it was a really hot day and he wanted to cool down

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What's the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bowling balls? You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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What did one hostage say to the other hostage? Hrmfhrmfphmfr

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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What happends to a monkey without arms.. He bleeds..

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A blond, a brunette, and an Asian take a test. They all get exceptional grades and pass college.

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Breanna baked a pie. what kind of pie was it? A JIMMY PAI

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What is red,brown and stinks? A deer that's hit by a car

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how do you confuse a blonde? shes already confused Leave.Her.Alone.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "...no..?"

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Why couldn't the old man read the street sign? Because there were no words. Just an arrow designating a trun up ahead.

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a man with a serious lung diesease was brought into a hospital, through continuous care they were not able to save him and he died the following morning.

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Q: what do you call a man that see's a unicorn A: hallucinating

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, the answer is to get to the other side, but this is an anti-joke site so I don't know why as it can't be it.

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Knock knock Who's there Police

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What's worse than hitting your funny bone on a chair............... Hearing one person say "its friday" then realizing that you are now singing

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how many black people are... wait stereotypical jokes are for fags

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" and the duck says "Quack". The bartender is then promptly fired and committed to the nearest mental institution for thinking that ducks can talk and order beer.

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Yo momma so fat when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

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How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

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whats worse than 2 people dying? 3 people dying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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