A man walks up to an attractive woman and asks "Is it hot in here, or is it just you?" The woman replies "No, it's hot in here. It is a record breaking 114 degrees outside, which means everybody is using their air conditioner. Due to the large amount of energy air condioners require, the power has gone out in this building and the air conditioner is not functional. The tempurature in the building is 103 degrees and three children are in the emergency room because of heat stroke."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q:Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? A:The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythological creatures.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I really don't like Holocaust jokes. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off of a guard tower.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why does jake have so many guns? hes compensating

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is yellow and corny? Corn.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the polar bear say when he walked into a sauna? Absolutely nothing because he was a polar bear. I mean seriously, did I even have to ask? Everyone should know that a polar bear is an animal and he wouldn't say anything. If he did it would most likely be a growl or a roar. If you believed that he would have said something you obviously didn't pass the first grade. I finish with the fact that a polar bear would not survive in a sauna because they are accustomed to cold climate. I guess this was just a waste of time.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why was six afraid of seven? because seven murdered sixes wife and kids and said he was next.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

a terrorist walks into a bank and says "gimme all the money or ill kill you" the bank owner said you and what army the terrorist said this army and no one came in buuuut he opened hi jacket and there was a bomb straped to him then he exploded it Buuuuuuut in hell he thinks hang on a minute i didn't get my money oh for goodness sake Buuuuuuuuuuut in heaven the bank man said i still live in a wonderfull place and anywhay we had no money left and i was going to suiside soooooooooooooooooooooooo you done me a favour and if i would of suiside i could of gone to hell but you killed me so i edidnt go to hell buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut you did lol by the way i just wasted your time

thumb_up thumb_down -6

"Whats your favorite number?" "9." "Is it because thats your jersey number." "Thats my jersey number?"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Who invented the Iceberg Salad? The Titanic

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Rishi is a funny guy, well he thinks he is. true story.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

yous are all f u c k i n g dumb like rat kavanagh

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock knock Who's there? Doorbell repairman

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats the similairity between a dog and a cat? They're both cats, except for the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

...IIITS... :) SMILEY :( AND MADDY THE HORSEHEAD SHOW ITS :) SMILEY :( AND MADDY THE HORSEHEAD SHOW! :) YAY! :(SHADDAP YUUU! Episode one... The waiting for the wait!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did the semen cross the road? i wore the wrong sock today.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats green at the bottom of a hole and covered in cookie crumbs a girl scout run over by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Pizza's don't scream when there in then oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q:If Ryan Vallee walks into a room what do you do? A:Walk out -Ryan V

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I'm allergic to peanuts. DAMIT

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the man put his penis in the baby? Because it's warmer than a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you make a puppy stop barking? Throw a brick at it.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops