How much wood would Chuck Wood have if Chuck Wood could have wood? None, Chuck Wood has E.D.

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what did the jew say when the arab threw rocks at him? He didnt, the israeli air force proceeded to fire white phosphorous missiles and annihalated many small children and babies in the process, the aftermath is still around today.

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A women in the kitchen.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have AIDS".

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Why did the black girl and white guy have sex? Because they were both sexually attracted to each other.

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Q:What Did The Man Say When He Lost His Body A:Nothing He Die. Because If You Ever Lost Your Body You Would Die...

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How do you make Chuck Norris cry? Kill his family.

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WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENTENTS AT THE BOTTEM!!!

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A lobster walks up to an octopus. What does he say? Nothing. Lobsters cannot talk.

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what did one pedophile say to the other at the playground? DIBZ!!!

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knock knock who's there? a dog ......dogs cant talk ..................

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Three blonds walk into a bar ... They said ouch!

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Wats rong with yo leg.....

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Farmers are outstanding in their fields

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

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A clown a hockey player and a...........what the heck that's all I got.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away privileges that she normally would have had had she not misbehaved.

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3 men walk into a bar. they all take a cab home to keep from having an accident due to their intoxication.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The doorbell repair man.

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Why are pineapples yellow? 82, piano, bomb, lamp!

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Obama

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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who wants to hear a joke about the broken pencil? to late, its sharpened

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How much wood could a wood chuck, chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? They don't ACTUALLY eat or throw wood. Instead, they eat grasses and insects and pretty much everything else at ground level they can get their hands on. But they can, apparently, CHEW wood, and that's where the idea for this study came in. The authors decided to use the word "chuck" to mean "chew" (I suppose because upchucking is the opposite?), and wanted to see how much wood a woodchuck could chuck. They obtained 12 woodchucks (by "various means" that are not described, I picture some middle aged guy in a suit trying to stalk one), and food deprived them to ensure they would eat the wood. Then, they fed each woodchuck a 2x4 (yes) and watched how fast they ate it. All the woodchucks ate the wood, none actively attempted to toss it, and none upchucked. They could, apparently digest the wood pretty well, and consumed it at a rate of 361.9237001 cubic centimeteres per animals per day (no error bars, and the food deprivation was nuts, 12 days, leading me to think they didn't REALLY...). They note that, while none of the woodchucks attempted to throw the wood, they probably would have, had they been capable. So the next time someone asks you, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? You answer is clear! He'd chuck 361.9237001 cubic centrimeters of wood per day, which is the wood that a woodchuck COULD chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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