Why did the autopilot of a plane malfunction even though the pilots had engaged the switch? The pilots had taken manual control. I lied about the switch.

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If Chuck Norris had five dollars and YOU had five dollars, he could still punch you in the face for free and get ten dollars out of it.

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What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment.

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How do you get a blond to fall over? Shoot her with a shotgun.

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rosie o'donald goes on a diet

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A black man in a country bar.

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Why didn't the girl take her hairbrush to school? She has cancer and all her hair fell out.

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. The man was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral service.

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says what do you want? the duck says nothing cause ducks can't talk

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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why did the girl break up with her boyfriend? hes gay

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Gingers.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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bish bash bosh giz a nosh

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What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

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24

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2 guys are on a scaffolding. One of them says to the other "If you fall from here, theres a high probability you will die"

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Two men walk into a bar.........ouch.

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What did the dog say to the cat? I don't know actually

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Whats the best part about being alive? Not getting hit by a bus

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penis haha

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What do you call a broken boomarang? A stick.

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whats worse than 8 babies nailed to a tree? nothing but oca mom is going to be pissed that her kids are nailed to a tree

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Why did Daphie die? I stabbed her 487 times.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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