Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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What do you get when you cross a parrot and a beach ball? A beach ball with a parrot design on it.

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What did the kid say to the ginger? You're gay.

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Why didn't the giraffe go to the zoo party? He didn't receive an invitation.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What did the hungry man do? He ate.

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A guy walks into a bar, has a few drinks with his mates and gets highly intoxicated.

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Why did the plane leave late? Because they were out of Kellogg's® Breakfast Cereal.

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What happened to the deaf, dumb, and blind kid? I don't know. Niether does he.

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I slipped and fell in the shower today. Good thing my dad caught me

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How many times can the Frenchman cheat on his wife? I don't know.

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"How come dinosaurs don't talk?" " I don't know. Why?" " Because they're dead."

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What's red ad looks like a green bucket? A red bucket to a color blind person

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Why did the chicken protest? He wanted to be able to cross the street without getting his motives questioned.

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How do you call a man in a wheelchair? Disabled.

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what did steven hawking say to the prostitute? Nothing, he is unable to speak, he needs help from his word speaker thing.

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whats one plus one penis

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Rudolf the rednosed reindeer died today. He was reported flying over Madrid when he was hit by a jumbo jet and a flock of seagulls. People are now saying that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

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What`s red and smells like blue paint? A sunburned baby drinking green paint.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What did the rock say to the other rock? Nothing they're rocks? What did the tree say to the other tree? Nothing they're both trees? What did the pillow say to the other pillow? Nothing they're both pillows? What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow.

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A man is writing with a #2 pencil. He looks down and sees that it says "Made in China." He shrugs and continues writing

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How many ecotards does it take to change a light globe? Ve Vill Change all ze light globes to use;less grey vuns and you vill luv it or else ve vill kill you to save ze planet

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side Why did the lollipop cross the road ? It was stuck to the chicken's head Why did the chicken commit suicide ? He couldn't get the lollipop off its head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops