After thinking hard for a very long time, the pig realized he was a fat, worthless piece of shit.

Me: Wanna play a game of red light and as I get closer to you, you get to call red light?? girl: Yea! okay, go! girl: green light!! Me: Sorry, firetrucks don't stop for red lights

what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

What happens when a black man falls out of a tree? He gets hurt.

What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

So 3 Jews walk into a bar, I lied, it was a gas chamber.

What do you call a pencil that's been broken in half? 2 pencils

A dermatologist walks into a strip club. He tells the stripper she has hives on her back and that she needs to go to a clinic, then gets up from his lap dance and reports her to management.

Roses are Red, violets are blue,love can not tell how much I love you!!

If someone tells you to look behind you do you? No

Why is six scared of seven? Because seven is in his house with an axe.

Two men walk into a bar. The third seeing the protruding bar goes home to find his entire family dead from anthrax.

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

roses are black violets are black im blind

A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Get in the car."

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Roey Jegen

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This is a Poem, your Adopted

Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he was dead

Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

Yo momma so fat, she has large amount of fat deposited in her body

Why did the man fall of the building? Someone shot both of his kneecaps.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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