Knock knock Who's there? Be Be who? Be yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -6

My heart is in my hands. Or maybe it's yours. Either way it's mine now. You won't need it anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats red and smells like Bacon. Bacon

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q. have you seen stevie wonders last album? A. neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are stupid. It most likely starved to death when it got stuck in a hole.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are Rose, Violets are Violet.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A cat walks into a Chinese restaurant. It is then asked to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What happened to the frog that broke down? It got toad.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do call a fly with no legs? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock Who's there Me Me who ME LET ME IN

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's black and white and red all over? Two biracial gay guys boning a can of paint...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A gay Asian guy walks into a gay bar where he found a fruity looking black man... The Asian went up to the black man and said, " how'r they hanging?" shocked with anger, the black man hits him in the face, knocks him to the ground and said, " YOU DO NOT TALK TO MY FAMILY THAT WAY. BOTH MY GRANPARENTS WERE LYNCHED!!!" the Asian stands up and brushes himself off... He turns to the black guy and says " I meant the balance scale at the table you were were sitting at" the black fellow turns to the table with the notebook and the balance scale with rocks on both sides that he was sitting at... He turns back to the Asian man and apologizes for his rude behavior and buys him a drink... (2 hours later) they have sex

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do Batman and Harry Potter have in common? Their parents are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the blonde do at the WTC on 9/11? Die.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? ....Because based on modern mathematics the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What can you never see in the light, but you can in the dark? A: Darkness.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is worse than going to school without your homework? Going to school naked without your homework.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why is Michael J. Fox unable to build domino chains? He only has one domino.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Xzibit

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's long and hard, and has cum in it? A cucumber

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops