A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. A farmers walks by underneath, and the squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because squirrels can't talk and neither can owls. Then the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

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whats red with blue spots and is highly inteligent? an apple. i lied to you and am sorry

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Yo momma so Fat that she got picked for the Olympic Swim Team

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What did the guy who killed Osama Bin Laden say? Burn!

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Heil Hitler!!!!!! Why thankyou General Himmler. Would you care to join me for supper this evening?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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This is not a joke or is it

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What do you call a blonde with big breasts? A woman. Some call her "mom".

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What does the cookie monster and the blue man group have in common? They are both homosexually active

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What's 9+10? 19

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Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period. Damnit, ignore that.

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david your girlfriend has a nice ass

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Jerry: Hey, do you smell that? It kinda smells like updog. Moe: What's updog?

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Your mama's p*ssy is so stank, she should probably consult her physician as she may have an easily treatable infection.

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What did the guy say when he found out his girlfriend had a dick I don't think we should date anymore, you have a dick.

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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Bob: Why did the chicken cross the road? Angus: To get to the other side... Bob: No. Chickens are unaware of the dangers of the road, and it was ignorant of the oncoming traffic during it's aimless wandering.

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?J?o?k?e?

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Who is the fiercist Raptor of them all? Matt Daly

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Because they're dead, they cant screw in a light bulb. Even if they were alive, it would be highly improbable that a baby could screw in a light bulb.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas?... A warm meal, a shower, and a place to sleep courtesy of the local homeless unit.

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Q: What is better than sex? A: A relationship where you can be completely intimate with your partner

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Why will this joke be the most hated? Because it sucks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops