There are four dead people on a boat. They commit suicide. Why did they commit suicide. To get to the other side!

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Who likes to be fisted? Sock puppets.

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Why couldn't Mike answer the phone on time? On his way to the phone he was shot and killed.

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What did the ant say when he walked in the club. . . Nothing he was immediately stepped on.

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A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

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A: We're eating you for breakfast today. B: Thank you, I'll have my arm.

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Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

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Poop swing

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A man walk into a bar. Just kidding he has no legs.

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Why cant jonny walk? He has no legs.

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It's April Fool's Day and a little boy runs up to his mom. "Daddy hung himself! He's in the attic!" The mom runs up to the attic, but the dad's not there. The boy looks at his mom and says, "April fools! He's in the basement!"

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Knock knock Get off my porch.

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I hate chocolate. I hate it so much. It sickens me. The only thing I hate more than chocolate is people that like chocolate. I hate them even more. Do you know what happened to the last person I met that liked chocolate? NOTHING

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What did the retarded guy say to the other retaarded guy? A. Your retarded

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like most people my age. im 27

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the love boat

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How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family.

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Why are black people so tall? Because their parents were

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A father walks in on his kid masturbating to pictures of horses and promptly divorces his wife.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some dreams stay dreams, But some dreams come true. Some want to be god, They want to have made us. But I want to be an astronaught, So I can explore Uranus.

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I now pronounce you man and lion. You may now kiss the pride.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven stabbed his mother.

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what do you call a blonde with black hair? Artificial intelligence

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I once saw a picture of a man who was bloodily murdered with his testicles replacing his eyes. then i had a nightmare, that was completely unrelated

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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