How many pieces of toast can you eat in 1 year? well, it depends on how many pieces you eat in one day, does it count snacks, or full meals of just toast, can you eat even when your not hungary, if you throw up does it still count? If it is 1 piece a day, it would be 365.

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Doris was putting up Christmas lights when he noticed the bulb's suddenly came on. He was puzzled at first, as he hadn't plugged them in. He climbed down the ladder and found that it was his son, Robby who had plugged the lights in.

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Where did Jonathan go when the bombs hit? Everywhere.

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A guy walks into a toilet store and there are 3 left 1is silver 1 is wood and 1 talks he took the one that talks. the next day he is shitting and he hears the toilet "do you see what i see

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Yo Momma Is Soooo Fat She Is Highly Obese

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Scientific fact: If you took all the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

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Why did people on a plane die? Because it crashed.

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The WNBA

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women's rights.

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Q: How do you make scrach paper? A: Take a paper and scrach it.

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How did the blonde burn her ear? In a terrible accident involving molten lava.

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So there's this crazy married couple in a old trailer down the road. They are both drunk. The man asks his blond wife, ''Isn't it about time we get married?'' The wife replies ''I wouldn't marry a ugly thing like you!'' The next day, they file a divorce.

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Poop swing

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Why did the chicken cross the road?... To get to the other side.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's been brutally cut open.

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Whats 2+1? 2.

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Friends are like trees, They fall down if you hit them several times with an axe.

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Two Jews walk into a concentration camp. One goes to work and the other one gets gassed.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

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A: Knock Knock! B: Who's There? A: I Am...

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Religion.

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Why is a charlie horse called a charlie horse? Well there was this boy charlie and he had a horse and it died in a fire.

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What's the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven? One is a human being and the other is a resourceful appliance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops