A black man walks into a bar. He sits down and has a couple drinks. When he is finished, he generously tips the bartender and walks out.

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

What did johnny say when he fell down the stairs? Nothing he snapped his neck

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a homicidal maniac, six has every right to be afraid

Why did the chicken cross the road? The screams were loud. It was just one big fire behind him. He and his fellow chickens had been trapped. They thought they were being freed... They thought wrong. The guards herded them in and then the heat started. The fires began to rage. His friends, his allies, his brothers, were falling dead, burning, beside him. He had to escape. He did not think, only acted. Lashing out at the guard, he knocked him down and ran. He ran and ran until he could run no more, and he still kept running. He could still hear his brothers' screams. He could still see their faces burning before his eyes. He reached the road, and finally stopped. He looked around. The screams had stopped. The heat had left his body. But then another sound came. Yelling. The guards. They were following him. He tried to keep running. But he just couldn't. He was finished. He fell on the road, sliding himself along as quickly as he could. He hadn't run this far to be caught by the guards. He stopped. He could go no further. He looked up and saw the blue sky, cloudless and free. The last thing he heard was a roaring engine. The guards never found his body.

Hillary Clinton

Did you hear about the kid-napping in Minnesota? He woke up

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side of the road because apparently their was something on the other side that appealed to the chicken. It was probably your mom.

What is a dead cat on the side of the road. A free cat.

a gay couple walks into a bar and get a drink

How are contortionists so flexible? They stretch.

knock knock how there me ok come in

What do you all a dead black man? A corpse.

whats yellow and blue and green all over? the color green

What is the difference between a brick and a ginger? The entirety of their chemical make up and physical appearance.

Christopher Reeves walks into a bar.

your mom is like a lowling ball, she likes to be fingered then thrown back into the gutter

Why can't Hellen Kelller drive? Because she's a woman.

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

SCENES WHEN TOM O'SHEA GETS STABBED IN PRISON AFTER STEALING THE WHEELS OFF AN AMBULANCE

What has four legs and starts with the letter D? A cow.

Knock Knock? Who's There? Not a Jehovah's Witness, let me in!

What is more dangerous than heroine? T.J. Lane

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...