What's funny? A joke. What's funnier than a joke? Two jokes.

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What's red but smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

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Why Did The Black Guy Eat Watermelon? Because he lives in south africa where they are commonly grown and needed a healthy snack.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a tumor Doctors give it 6 weeks before I die...

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-Knock, knock. -Who's there? -The pest control guy. -Please leave me alone I'm giving birth.

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Penis Gabriel - Go eat some ice cream! Boner McDaniels - No. Penis Gabriel - Ok.

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What did the man say when he lost his keys? "Where's my keys?!"

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What has four wheels, two wings, and flies? A bird...I was kidding about the wheels.

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whats long and pointy and guys always have to brag about whos got the biggest one? their christmas trees

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Hum... I am actually a redhead... Which is so strange saying to anyone including myself, I dye it like constantly.

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There are two types of people in the world: humans

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What happened to the boy who ditched his friends and lied to them...? His appendix exploded.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bag of crap? Quite a bit. The black man is a human male of the Kingdom Animalia, while the bag is an inanimate object. The only similarity between them would be that they both contain organic matter.

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What's the difference between a tomato and a rhinoceros? Neither of them can ride a bicycle.

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theres a fork in a drawer half way open and a knife in a cup on the counter. how does the knife get into the drawer, it cant knife are incapable of moving

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knock knock whos there the game _______I LOST THE GAME_______

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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What do you get if you cross a Sheep with a Kangeroo. An abomination unto God.

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One man says to another "Hey you have banana in your ears." The other man replies "I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

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A horse walks into a bar. He was blind.

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A white man walking dpwn the street finds a brief-case with a timer on it. A young muslim man says he dropped it. The white man then asked "What's the timer for"? The young man said, "Nothing really, just helps keep the time." They both went their separate ways.

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Whats an Anti Joke

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Milkman! Milkman who? ....Timmy....I've been coming here for FOURTEEN YEARS! AND YOU CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER MY NAME?!?! I drove your mom to the hospital when you were born since your father is such a deadbeat. I helped pick out your name!! I'm sorry I wasn't born into wealth like you. I'm sorry I have to go door to door handing out milk for other people! I have been coming here every week for FOURTEEN YEARS! But no Timmy, no, don't try to remember my name. Just forget about all the laughs we have had. Or that time i left my family on Christmas because your mother needed me to go find you that Turbo man doll. I saved you from a burning vehicle! I helped you win your third grade science fair! Remember? I have a picture of us and that robot right here in my wallet. I show it to people all the time! Here's me and my...my pal Timmy. Well Timmy, this is it. You shan't see me again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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