A man walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic beverage. The bartender serves him and inquires about the man's day. The man says nothing, drinks his beverage, pays his tab and walks out.

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What do you do when your speeding and a cop is right behind you? make a complete stop and hope for the best

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How do you tell the difference between a pig and a sea pig? If you open your mouth and it fills with water, you are an idiot

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What kind of condoms do cows use? None.

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk and leave. 2 hours later there's a newscast about two drunken men who died in a car accident. It wasn't them, the newscast about them came shortly after

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3 men are walking down a dirt path. One is a retired member of the US Air Force. The other of the Marines. The last one of the Navy. They are arguing about why their respective section of the military is the best. They lose track of where they're going and fall off of a cliff onto the spinning propeller of a US Coast Guard helicopter.

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How many chickens does it take for a cow to count on Tuesday? The same reason a horse got fired for seven plus one blue red green.

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Whats red and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket Whats blue and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

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Your so fat that you have a 75% chance increase of dying from congenital heart failure.

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who's sexually attracted to bones? James Cornish

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I pooped.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Marmite.

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Aaaaakkkkkiiiiiinnnnfffffeeeeennnnnwwwwaaaa

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I can't remember. I have amnesia from when I was hit by a bus as a child.

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. Are you a grapefruit? No.

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Q. What do you tell a women with two black eyes? A. Stop pissing him off!

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What do you call a man with no legs? A cripple

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I just pooped in my boyfriends mouth. He ate it. Ps. I am a boy

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Why did the baby fall down from the tree? It was dead.

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What is the difference between a duck? None! One of their legs are both the same.

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What do you get when you mix a dog with a pool table? I don't know.

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: I have no Idea what you would call cheese which isn't yours. However, it seems quite trivial to take time to discuss a nonsensical topic such as cheese which isn't yours.

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A boy tells his teacher, "I want to be like hitler when I grow up and kill all the jews and one clown." The teacher replies, "Why the clown?" The boy says, "See no one cares about the jews."

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops