God has lived since the eternal eternity right? And one day he said let there be light? NO WONDER HE IS SUCH A NEEDY GREEDY EVIL FUCK! HOW WOULD YOU FEEL AFTER AEONS ENDLESS IN TOTAL DARKNESS? Moral: It is time for the prince, to stand up as the emperor, then no one shall doubt the power of the moral man.

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What did the sign say? It said slow down

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What did the hobo say while giving birth? bob come over here and hold my third leg for me??

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full house

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Q:What does a black guy say when you steal his fried chicken right in front of him? A:"please restrain from taking food that does not belong to you. If you had kindly asked i would have kindly given you some, and right in front of me too! In all my life I've never seen such rudeness and i grew up in the Bronx."

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What did the white man say to the black man that was very interested in the story he had to tell? Cool Story bro, tell it again!

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Pick up lines: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're wearing a university of Tennessee sweatshirt. If I could rearrange the alphabet to put 'U' and 'I' together, I would not do it because I would have to reorganize all of my alphabetized files. Is it hot in here to you or am I experiencing early signs of a stroke?

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Why was the woman bald? She was a Britney spears fan.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What's green, and looks like money? Money...

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What is the most common cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 2.5 million children in the world are suffering from HIV/AIDs.

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your mama is so greasy she should go take a bath

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sometimes i put my hands on the floor tuck my head into my cheat and lean forward... because thats how i roll

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Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made this particular man mad which drove him to tell the other man to shut up.

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4 people: A pilot, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a little kid, are all on an airplane with only 3 parachutes, when the plane's engine explodes and starts to go down. But the pilot makes an emergency landing at a nearby airport and everybody is okay.

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Why did the sheep cry? Because it contracted cancer

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Whats pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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A guy walks into a bar... Ouch

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Knock Knock Not Yet

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse, incapable of understanding the human language promptly shits on the floor then leaves.

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Why do Chinese people have flat faces? Air bags.

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you first

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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