Why do cats have eyes? So they can see.

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what do you call an ocelot with ebola? an ocelot that might die soon.

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A man says to a woman, "hey, bitch, shut your fucking mouth you goddamn hooker." Most hookers are used to it.

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what did the caterpillar say to the butterfly? Im gonna turn into you.

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Rudolf the rednosed reindeer died today. He was reported flying over Madrid when he was hit by a jumbo jet and a flock of seagulls. People are now saying that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

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Your mom is soooo fat..... She'll most likely suffer a heart attack

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Why did the baby cross the road? 'cause i kicked it.

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A Polish man is walking down the street carrying a brown paper bag. He runs into one of his buddies, who asks, "Hey! What's in the bag?" The man tells his friend that he has some fish in the bag. His friend says, "Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The man replies, "I'm sorry, my friend, but gambling is against my morals, especially when my family's only nutrition for the week is on the line."

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A horse walks into a bar, and a man says "Hey, why the long face?" The horse calmly turns to him and replies, "Because I'm a horse you drunk moron."

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Man 1:Doctor Doctor, I've got 59 seconds to live! Man 2: This is a chemist

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Romans rights.

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What do you call four friends spending a wild night in Las Vegas that they can't rember the next day? A rip off of the Hangover

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. (do you get it cause the robot has no arms)

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knock knock who's there your family just died your family just died who? -.-

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Stop shitting in my garden

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hahahahaha thats not funny

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Knock. Knock Who's there? Jim. Jim who? Jim your best friend.

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Paragnormal Activity: The confused sequels. My wife literally had an heart attack 5/5! -Awesome reviews. I am going to need therapy for the rest of my life! 5 out of 5 stars! -Star reviews THIS MOVIE KILLED MY DOG! 4.5/5 -Petlovers I literally died! 10/10 -Rotten Potatoes.

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Q-- Why did the boy stop playing football? A -- He had to go for his tea

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How many dead babies does it take to paint the side of a building? I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.

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How do you make a little girl laugh. You tell her something funny.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven stabbed his mother.

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What did the blond do on October 12th? Get hit by a bus

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a man said hi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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