Last night I had a Chinese By that I mean I abducted some Chinese people and ate them

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano? Neither has he...

What did johanne buy when she got pregnant? A staircase

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car

Person 1: Hey Person 2: What's up? Person 1: Kill Yoself Person 2: Alright

What's the difference between Bobby and a plane? Bobby can be sexually molested.

How many carrots can you fit in a truck Depends who's driving

What's the same between a school bus and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the bus.

NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

What's the difference between a taxidermist and an astronomer ? They have a different job.

Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: Cus 7 had AIDS and it was bleeding all over the place!

A guy who plays shooting games acquires an assault rifle but he doesn't kill anyone, why? Because he was a nice and peaceful man who loves his wife.

Why didn't the oven turn on? Because nothing turned it on.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One of them you crack open with a sledgehammer and feast upon, and the other is a dead baby.

a man walks into a bar the bar tender says why the long face? i just walked into a bar

Q: What's the difference between sheetrock and drywall? A: nothing. It's just two names for the same thing.

A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

why didn't the chicken cross the road. Because it was hit by a truck.

Why couldn't the mexican get a job? He was seven.

A black man, an Asian man, and an American man are in a car. Who is driving? The black man, it's his car.

What do you do when you see a black man limping in your yard? You invite him inside, ask him what happened, and possibly call an ambulance if, God forbid, the situation is that serious.

How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

What's Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin'

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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