A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

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Do you know what's not right? Left.

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How do you make a tissue dance? Blow a little boogie in it!

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Q: what is long hard and full of seamen A: a submarine

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A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

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So a man is sitting at a bar with about 20 girls sitting all around him. Amazed at this man's ability to pick up girls, another man asked him how he did. In response, the man said, "What?". The man wasn't able to hear the other man, due to the fact that there were many girls talking.

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Think about it: Is mexico REALLY full of: Lowrides in candy ass sparkly colors such as lip red that bounce, (manly color right? Yeah sure baggot) which contains a whole street war gang of members inside and at least twenty tons of COCAINA! ...But does not have a horn that plays "la cucaracha" Seriously, you say yes right? Hey look at this guy he said yes everybody, but ITS WROOOOOOONG CUCARACHA OR GTFO OF MEXICO! Yeah... Because Mexico is shit, id would be racist if Mexicans didn't agree...

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How do u get a clown off of a swing? You hit him with an axe.

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Yo Mama so slow She can't run very fast.

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Why is a building called a building when it's already been built? My pinky is pink and my liver helps me live.

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roses are red. violets are violet...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue when I saw you what the heel are you

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the hea repeatedly

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What do you call somebody pimping out their bitches for very large amounts of money???? A dog breeder.

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bill is either dead or alive. bill is not dead therefore bill is alive

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What's worse than a duck with one leg? A nuclear explosion

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what did the blind deaf mute boy get for christmas? some nice presents.

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A man walks into a sporting goods store and pulls out a gun. Then he returns it and leaves.

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Moo! I'm a goat!

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Who would win in a fight between a polar bear and a tiger? Considering that they live in different habitats, the chances are very unlikely that they would ever interact.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns. He won.

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What's worse than finding a bone in your boneless chicken meal? Going home to find your entire family brutally murdered.

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How do you stop a group of black guys from fighting? go over to them and ask them politely to stop.

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irish wristwatch JLR

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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