How old are you like 10? Im 11 so shut the fuck up

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what does a gay horse eat heeyyyyy

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I want to name my dog Syndrome. Then, when I teach him to sit, I can say "Down, Syndrome!"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm gonna f*ck you with a rake.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. The squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because it is a squirrel and squirrels can't talk. The owl turns to the squirrel and eats it, because it is a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did Max drink the red Gatorade? Because he likes it more than all of the other flavors.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why, you might ask, did in fact the chicken cross this all too infamous road? His grandma-ma phoned the righteous bird and requested a visit. Chickens never displease their family.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why doesn't Michael J. Fox drive a stick shift? He was raised in an urban area and was only taught to maneuver with vehicles that shifted automatically.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A guy orders soup at the resturant and says to the waiter, "will you try this soup?" The waiter says "what is it too hot?" the guy says "just try the soup." the waiter asks "Is it too cold?" the guy sais just try the soup." the waiter says "fine, where's the spoon?" AHAHHH!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's black and hanging on a tree in my backyard? Blackberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Pull my finger. Not right now. I'm watching The Price is Right.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats black and white with red all over? A dead panda

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why did the puppy poop? he had too

thumb_up thumb_down +22

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I now pronounce you man and lion. You may now kiss the pride.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but GET IN THE VAN

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I ran in to Hitler. "Hey, Hitler, what's up?" I asked. "Well, this time I am going to kill 6 million Jews and 2 clowns." "Two clowns?" I ask. "Why two clowns?" "See!" He exclaimed. "No one cares about the Jews!"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you make a tissue dance? Blow a little boogie in it!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why did the chicken cross the street? he couldn't, he lives in a rural area on a farm where there are no streets

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. Because, often, friends go out together in social situations.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Where did Little Billy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many Jews fit in an oven? Nein

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops