what the **** is wrong with kieran scotts forhead!

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A bear wakes up from hibernation and is hungry. He sees a nearby forest cabin and decides to see if he can find food inside. The bear breaks into the cabin and thus the people staying there frantically run away to call animal control.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, it seem's that someone has been bathroom on my lawn. "Martha, I'm not cleaning this up"

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No-one because that's not feasible.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A pig rolls in the mud.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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What's black,white, and red all over? Nothing, because if it is completely covered in red then it can only be red.

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Why did it die Nothing died

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I peek in your window, Yes, I'm watching you

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Jimmy and Ted are racing each other at the end ov the street. Jimmy is taller and thinner but Ted has more endurance. Who wins the race? A: the drunk driver

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They see me rollin' Up my sleeve for some volunteer work at the local shelter

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What do u firmly grasp and stroke until u can't go any longer? A shakeweight....

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What did the blind kid say to his dad Nothing , his dads dead

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Roses are red violets are blue I have boobs and so do you

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What's 1 + 1? Fish. What's 2+2? Window. pie.

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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What's worrying about a middle-eastern man on a plane? The fact you are worrying about it.

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What do you call a black man with a wooden leg? A veteran.

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Two elephants walk off of cliff.... BOOM BOOM!

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is your refrigerator running? yeah oh, ok. just making sure your food doesn't spoil

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

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Why is Taylor sad? Because she's the middle of a human centipede.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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