What happened when the chicken crossed the road? I got feathers stuck in my cars grill

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What's purple and smells like crap? Crap. I lied about the purple

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why did chuck norris walk on water? because he's chuck norris

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Why wasn't the girl asked to the prom? Because she had cerebral palsy.

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Why did the kid fall off is bike? He was hit by a bus.

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Why did the Indian homosexual shoot his dog? Because it was old

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Q: Why is Santa's sack so big? A: Because he only cums once a year

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What did the homeless man do with his trolley full of aluminium cans, He took them to the scrapyard and sold them as this is his only source of income right now

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- Knock knock - Excuse me, I don't have time, my house is on fire ! - We're the firemen.

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How did the polar bear get the bottle of coke? He killed the little boy

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The parking lot was across the street from KFC.

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whats worse than finding out you have Alzheimer's? Finding out you have Alzheimer's

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? The list goes on.

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Safe sex MR

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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What happens when you divide by zero? According to the limits in Calculus, 1/x as x approaches 0 becomes closer to infinity, so we can safely conclude that if we could divide by zero, it would be a form of infinity. Positive infinity for 1/0, negative infinity for -1/0 and unsigned infinity for 0/0, as zero has no sign.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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What do you call a woman with no arms or legs that fell off a boat fucked

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what do you call a black man on the moon? an astronaut.

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A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman walk into a bar and the barman asks "Is this some kind of a joke?"

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They should introduce a filtering system on here. That way any repeated jokes, or idiots taking up a page with a copy and paste routine, could be simply erased by those who are bored with them or find them irritating. [L]

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your going to die

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Where did the people go after the bomb went off? EVERYWHERE!!!

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Why did the man put his penis in the baby? Because it's warmer than a watermelon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops