Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He looks it up first to make sure he's got it right before dialing.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue This poem makes no sense Trampoline

What happen when you put a Ciara and a Charlie together? They have sex.

I have a joke. Okay, tell me. Just kidding

Teacher: "What is the outside layer on a tree?" Dog: "Bark" Teacher: "How would you describe the desert surface?" Dog: "Rough" Teacher: "Would you say that Abraham Lincoln was an intelligent man?" Dog: "Yarp"

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because as an animal with legs it is highly capable of doing such as it pleases.

What's worse than reading a bad joke Realizing it's yours.

Why are kenyans so fast? Because due to evolutionary changes, people from that area of the world have evolved to have superior muscle builds to sprint, hence giving them a natural advantage against an equally trained athlete form another part of the world with an equal skill level

What happens when you leave Toby alone in your house? He eats your carpet, some pillows, ur dog, ned, neds dog and a glass panel. This is why 2 +h = plugger +Mount Everest (I is potato annoying). Bonjour.

In Soviet Russia You drive car, because a car driving you would be screwed up

What do you do when your speeding and a cop is right behind you? make a complete stop and hope for the best

What did the train say at the party Thomas isn't really dumb ass

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

What do you call a zebra without stripes? A stripeless zebra.

What did walt disney say to the Jew? Nothing. Walt Disney didn't know the man was Jewish and didn't have time to make himself acquainted with the fellow.

Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus.

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

How did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it died. how did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the other monkey.

squirrels playing in the street=dez bryant playing tennis

Why was the Cubs fan sad? His wife just left him.

What did the guy and girl do at the wedding? Nothing, The guy is gay

What's big and fat? An obese man.

Autism speaks but not really

knock knock get lost!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...