What's purple and smells like crap? Crap. I lied about the purple

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What happened when the chicken crossed the road? I got feathers stuck in my cars grill

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: Why is Santa's sack so big? A: Because he only cums once a year

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why wasn't the girl asked to the prom? Because she had cerebral palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did chuck norris walk on water? because he's chuck norris

thumb_up thumb_down -3

your going to die

thumb_up thumb_down -5

They should introduce a filtering system on here. That way any repeated jokes, or idiots taking up a page with a copy and paste routine, could be simply erased by those who are bored with them or find them irritating. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a woman with no arms or legs that fell off a boat fucked

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What happens when you divide by zero? According to the limits in Calculus, 1/x as x approaches 0 becomes closer to infinity, so we can safely conclude that if we could divide by zero, it would be a form of infinity. Positive infinity for 1/0, negative infinity for -1/0 and unsigned infinity for 0/0, as zero has no sign.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what do you call a black man on the moon? an astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman walk into a bar and the barman asks "Is this some kind of a joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats worse than finding out you have Alzheimer's? Finding out you have Alzheimer's

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? The list goes on.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Safe sex MR

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the man put his penis in the baby? Because it's warmer than a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are Red Violets are Blue The mothership came and your did a whole lot of scam

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Where did the people go after the bomb went off? EVERYWHERE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Realising the apple is the worm...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

An oriental man starts a new job. He is told to go to the Supply cupboard and bring back some stationery.He is gone far too long so his boss sends another man to see what is going on. The oriental man had a fatal stroke in the supply cupboard and was unfortunately dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red, Violets are purple, nothing rhymes with purple.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Bill:What do you get when you cross a panda and an eagle? Joe:I don't know what? Bill: Is that even possible?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What weights more than a 300 pound man? A 400 pound man.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops