why did the chicken cross the rode? so it can get the seed that is between the two yellow lines, and then he walked back without getting hit by a car.

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What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They're both Tom Cruise.

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knock knock come back later i'm taking a shower!!!

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- knock knock. - Who's There? - Steve. - Steve who? - Fitzsimmons. We met at your wife's work party.

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Who is best known for causing the Mt. St. Helens Eruption, The World Series Earthquake, and The Asian Tsunami in 2004? According to insurance companies, God.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

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you ever hear the joke about the rabbi, the pope and an elephant? No? well its a good one...

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What do you call a dead baby in a lunchbox? It doesn't matter he won't hear you.

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long in the tooth!

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whos district champs not JM

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Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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Why did the man put his penis in the baby? Because it's warmer than a watermelon.

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Once you buy it, you will get a 365 day warranty or a 1 year warranty, whichever comes first

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Hey, you know what sucks about being blind? You can see.

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Q: What do the Terms of Service say? A: I dont know, I didnt read them.

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luke moore cant pull it back

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oh no, i've lost my tractor

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I am a joke. I am funny.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know it depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ....Because based on modern mathematics the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

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What's the difference between a nickel and a dime? Five cents.

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A gay Asian guy walks into a gay bar where he found a fruity looking black man... The Asian went up to the black man and said, " how'r they hanging?" shocked with anger, the black man hits him in the face, knocks him to the ground and said, " YOU DO NOT TALK TO MY FAMILY THAT WAY. BOTH MY GRANPARENTS WERE LYNCHED!!!" the Asian stands up and brushes himself off... He turns to the black guy and says " I meant the balance scale at the table you were were sitting at" the black fellow turns to the table with the notebook and the balance scale with rocks on both sides that he was sitting at... He turns back to the Asian man and apologizes for his rude behavior and buys him a drink... (2 hours later) they have sex

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An apple a day keeps a check next to the "I ate an apple today" box on my "what I did today" daily checklist.

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What's the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bowling balls? You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops