One time I masturbated by myself

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why did the dog chase it's tail? it has a case of OCD where he was obsessed with catching his tail and would spin until he passed out or threw up.

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What happened to the cat that fell in the bath? It jumped out feeling cold and embarrassed.

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what do you call jerry sandusky with a kid in a shower jerry sandusky

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A boy wakes up in the morning and says i"'m feeling kind of fishy today," the boy's dad walks in and relpies "that's because you are a fish."

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A Guy walks into a bar Ouch

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What do you call a beagle and an eagle mixed together? A beagle.

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You mom is so fat she appeals to my secret fetish.

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Knock knock Who's there? Your brother My brother who? The dead guy over there.

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I had a really funny joke about a dead baby...but I threw it out

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Hi, how are you doing? Good how about yourself? Fine, thanks. Nice weather we're having Yeah, not too bad Have a nice day You too

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Q: How does a chicken get to work? A: A chicken does not go to work. Chickens can not legally be employed for any position in any country as they are chickens, are not human, and do not posses any prerequisites required to be hired for any existing employable position.

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why did the dog bark at the picture because it was ugly

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TWIX PAUSE!

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How do you say "Hello" in India? 1. Get a plane ticket and fly to India 2. Say Hello in India

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you f***ing racist.

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Why couldn't the mexican buy a boat? Because he couldn't afford it

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' Cheese

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Why is Tom Garrick gay Answer- Because he is

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What do Jews always complain & want money for? Anything

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

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Why did the Jew run across the road? To get to the other side.

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A chemist and his buddy walk into a bar. The chemist, trying to sound smart, says, "I would like a glass of H20." The buddy, being a normal person who actually cares if he looks like an idiot, asks for plain water.

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Pick up lines: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're wearing a university of Tennessee sweatshirt. If I could rearrange the alphabet to put 'U' and 'I' together, I would not do it because I would have to reorganize all of my alphabetized files. Is it hot in here to you or am I experiencing early signs of a stroke?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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