Knock Knock *opens the door*

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why am i sore i bummed a giraffe

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's similar between my butthole and shampoo? They both smell good, except for by butthole.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

If a tree falls in a neigheorohood lots of people hear it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her repeatedly in the chest with a ball point pen

thumb_up thumb_down +15

i am iron man running over fat kids in my van

thumb_up thumb_down +15

An old couple walks up to me and says, "can you take our picture? It's our 50th anniversary." I reply, "sure." Then I pull the man to the side and ask, "how do you make a relationship last so long? I can't make one last 50 days let alone years." He leans in and says, "cheat"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what is the difference between a banana and an orange? bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

The king asked the jester why was he not telling jokes. He wasn't because he's a jester and therefore is obligated to be funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin

thumb_up thumb_down +15

how many black guys goes it take to screw inalightbulb? just one, but inalightbulb was feeling rather slutty today, so 2.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

There was an american man on the way to work.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why'd the duck cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A blonde, red head and brunette decide the jump off a cliff....... They all die

thumb_up thumb_down +15

While I was walking home from school one day, James Brown jumped out of a bush and punched me in the face. Then, when I got home, there was a walrus sitting on my couch. He then turned to look at me and said, "Penis". I then immediately farted out blades of grass.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

"Knock Knock," "Whos There?" "The Pizza Guy" "I hate pizza."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Agent 47.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A grasshopper walks into a bar... Bartender: "hey we have a drink named after you!" Grasshopper: "What, Kevin?"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did you know that I can't talk any louder than this... Exept when I can

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why do black people eat at KFC? Because KFC serves good food at reasonable prices.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops