How many Asians did it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1 Asians are just like every one else

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How do u kill a mocking bird ? Stab it

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Roses are red Violets are blue Clever rhyming punch line refrigerator

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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why didnt Joe drive the tractor today? Because Joe doesnt have any arms or legs. Why doesnt Joe have any arms or legs? A) Because Joe is a potatoe

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so theres this big moose, and it walks into a convenience store and asks the lady bitch "where are the potatoes?" and she says "ehh, down aisle 5" so he goes down isle five, and there aint no potatoes

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Reading books

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A woman was talking to Ghandi. "Oh wait" He says "I can't, My kids are home"

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by black guys? -Steve Nash

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yo mama's so fat, she wears a big belt

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What do you call a pencil that's been broken in half? 2 pencils

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Q: what the apple say to the orange? A: nothing because there fruits and fruits cant talk

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What has wings and can't fly? What has legs and can't move? What has mouth and can't eat? A dead bird on the road

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doctor , doctor , i feel depressed , we will start you on a course of anti-depressents , vitimins , and daily exercise, make a appointment for next week , and i will referrer you to a phycatrist

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Disabled.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ted. Come in.

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If John has no nose, what do John's friends call him? John

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yo mama is so fat she has to wear large sized clothing

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Your mom is so stupid, that she took an IQ test and was proven mentally retarded. Her family is devastated.

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Lard and Liz lard,lard and Liz

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Why doesn't Santa Claus change his socks on Christmas Eve? Because he isn't real.

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what did the man say to his boss? Hello boss

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Why is this funny? cause it is funny

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Why do people eat babies? Because they're delicious.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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