Timothy started school at an elementary and was in the fourth grade. His teacher was Ms Bradshaw, and he liked his class. One day as he was going into class, Ms Bradshaw asked everybody, "what's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it?" Timothy raised his hand and said "the holocaust." The teacher went to her desk and pulled out a desert eagle and shot Timothy five times in the face and raped his dead body

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

1,2,3,4,5... 6.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A bear and a rabbit sits by a small lake in the forest, taking a shit. After a while, the bear asks the rabbit: "Do you have problems with shit hanging from you fur after you're done?" The Rabbitm ponders, and responds: "No, bear. I really don't". Than the bear wiped his ass with some moss.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Pizza's don't scream when there in then oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the blond walk in to a door because she was not paying attention

thumb_up thumb_down -7

oh no, i've lost my tractor

thumb_up thumb_down -7

An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman notices this rather humorous cliche and proceeds to point it out, laughs are shared by all.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

roses are red violets are blue hey fu i'm making stew out of my own poo

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the burglar get arrested? For beating an egg

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I killed someone on minecraft.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the kid say when he fell of a cliff and met Tom jones? Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many Aumish farmhands does it take to operate a state of the art commercial laser-cutter? One,provided he has the relevant training and experience.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the girl kill herself? she was depressed.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Is your Alzheimers getting better? I have alzeimers?...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

1. Why did sally fall of the swing? -because she had no arms. 2.Knock Knock -Who's there? Not sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why wasn't the man hungry? Because he just ate a thousand almonds.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Where's Waldo? The cemetery, he died last week.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happened to the asian when he took viagra? He got an erection.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a blind fish? Amblyopsidae.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is brown red and white? I don't know, that's why I asked you

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops