Human: "Panda get off that slide! Your a panda, you don't understand gravity!" Panda: g=9.81 m/s squared. Human: Oh, I see, carry on.

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What's the difference between a cat and a banana? One is a cat, the other is a banana.

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Why did your mom cross the street? She didn't. She was a home. Making me a sandwhich.

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I hate it when I try to put my gun on safety but I accidentally shoot u a school full of kid.

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Roses are red, violets are blue i've got a gun, pointing at you

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Hi. Hello. I live in Iowa. Same. Im your neighbor. Same. I like corn. Same. Im gay. Same. HAHAHAHAHAHA gotcha! No i really am gay and the fact that you thought that was funny saddens me deeply.

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Roses are flowers Violets are flowers

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Studies show that 95% of house fires are caused by fire.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a girl who was knocked off a swing by a fridge.

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Fishing rods are cool This haiku does not make sense Lumpy Space Princess

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Your dad is so bald, that a various number of people compliment him on how well shaven his head is.

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why did the asian go to the bar? they were told they could drive better when drunk how much worse could they get

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How do u put an elephant in a refrigerator? -open it up and put it in How do u put a girraffe in a refrigerator? -open it up take out the elephant and put it in All the animals it the world are at a party in Florida. Which one didnt go? -the girraffe, it was in the frige Your trying to cross a river. A sign says alligators everywhere. U have no boat and no bridges. How do u get across? - swim the alligators are at the party in florida

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? How ever many seats happen to be available.

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a man shoots his mother in-law He his charged with murder and will only be eligible for parole in 18 months

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Why did the man fall down? Because he was pushed of a 5 story building

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Q:Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? A:He slipped and fell. Q2:Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2:He was stapled to the first monkey. Q3:Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3:Peer pressure.

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I honestly have no idea what is upsetting you, why would I lie about my name? Please don't leave, you do remember me don't you? Can I call you over?

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Knock Knock Who's there? the mailman.

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What did paul say to bill? "Hi, I'm Paul"

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whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

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Row row row your boat Right to KFC Put some kool-aid in your cup And toast to you and me

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What goes good with coca cola? Thirst

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my great great grandpa ryan the rattlesnake had a cat named dog-

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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