What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dog

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idear.

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Friend: "Hey man! Did you hear about the kid who bought the last hamster at the pet shop? Other friend: "No..." Friend: "Oh, well he shot himself last night."

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died.

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Q. What's short and black A. A little black kid

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Why did the little girl fail her test? Because she had mental retardation.

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knock knock ... no one was in

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Why did the cow have a pain in his stomach. It has testicular cancer.

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A little boy starts to be followed by a man in a large white van. They come across an intersection, the boy turns left, and the man turns right.

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what happened to the boy that walked down the street he got hit by a falling street light

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Who has killed more people than Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, and Jack Kevorkian combined? Mr. Rogers

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What do you call the man who graduated medical school last in his class? Doctor

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Wanna hear a joke? A Republican political activist.

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What happened when the man lost his sandwich? He couldnt eat.

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What's worse than a fly in your soup? Getting killed in a plane crash.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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ive got it ive got ive got outsimers to tonight wow bim bim bub bub za za

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i have an apple. now suck my dick

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What did the children in India eat for dinner?

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Knock, Knock Who's There? (Silence) Wondering who was there, the man opened the door, to find a baby in a basket in front of him.

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What do you call a building full of black people Jail

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I think people who go to see a psychiatrist need their head examining.

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a tree? Nailing1 baby to 10 trees

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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