How are trees and friends alike? They are both subject to fall when struck with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

"Knock Knock," "Whos There?" "The Pizza Guy" "I hate pizza."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why doesnt bally lifeguard he isnt qualified

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? The doctor prescribes him tablets to treat his bi-polar tendencies.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

God has lived since the eternal eternity right? And one day he said let there be light? NO WONDER HE IS SUCH A NEEDY GREEDY EVIL FUCK! HOW WOULD YOU FEEL AFTER AEONS ENDLESS IN TOTAL DARKNESS? Moral: It is time for the prince, to stand up as the emperor, then no one shall doubt the power of the moral man.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Susan boyle has a belly button, Simon has a belly button, Because its only normal.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the Mexican get for christmas? Nothing, he was caught sneaking over the border in November.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the sign say? It said slow down

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven raped and murdered eight's family.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her repeatedly in the chest with a ball point pen

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvatore Dali mistook them for clocks.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

0 + 0 = 0

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you get a hot blonde to do your laundry? At knife point.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why do Chinese people have flat faces? Air bags.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the rat say to the snake when it ate it. Nothing for the rat is a rat and there for can not communicate through talk to the snake nor could it survive as the snake's digestive system disintegrated it in a matter of minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the girl scream when she got her tooth pulled? Because it hurt her.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you stop a train? You don't, unless your the conductor in which case you would hit the brake.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? get in the car

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I had a date. She was a pegasister. Since MLP was magical, I disappeared.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I love telling anti jokes rather than jokes because I was born with a rare case of ebola and suffer from alcoholicationism

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The banana, the raspberry and the pear arrived to the party, then the carrot and the tomato arrived as well, but when the apple and the orange arrived the banana left... ...This where just getting to fruity...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was little Sammy crying? because she had a frog stapled to her forehead

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A handicapp walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops