whats it called when a pimp slaps a ho? RESPECT

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You know how I felt about Nero, no way id ever date anyone but you, back then that is. Fine I will come along, I bet you left the base at "point zero" without the information he left, you have not changed a bit Seth, always too impulsive for your own good, but Nero was always like that and that, turned out, well damn. Tell me first, if you come get me, how much have you really changed mentally from the last time we met? You sincerely sound like a psychopath and I could use a shoulder to cry on rather than be escorted to some sick torture dungeon thing. I gather you are not far away, could you please get over here asap? I do not care about more than the standard code anymore, you have not changed much, except you are a deranged psychopath now, I get it, in your place I think id do the same, I have no idea how bad Nero was doing when you found him, and I sure as hell dont want to know.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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What did the black guy, the latino guy, and the asian guy all have in common? They were all human beings

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Why did the girl fall She didn't she was eaten by a bear

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What is yellow and has thick, shiny fur? A banana. I lied about the fur.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them

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What is Megan Fox's middle name? Denise

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Why are black people so tall? Because their parents were

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Knock knock Who's there? 7. And if that's you in there, 6, you better start praying.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? Seven brutally abused and raped 6 as a child.

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What does Tupac and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead but most of the people think they aren't.

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why does one side of a v-flock of geese have more birds? Because it does.

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What'd the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish, remember?

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One time I masturbated by myself

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

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What do you call a gay dog? Steve

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a boy walks into the doctors office."my knees hurt...i poked it like this"the doctor says "listen kid...u are a really good kid but u didnt really injure your knee and im sick of you!!"

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What's worse than stepping on chewing gum A clown throwing bricks at orphans

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin get in the Batmobile.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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A plane full of atheists, with one Christian, crashes into a field over Ohio. Everybody but the Christian dies upon impact. Amazed, a news reporter on the scene of the crash, asks the man, "How did you suvive this tragic event?" "I had a parachute." Responds the man.

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Roses are red Cranberries are tart It sure stinks when you fart

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a convicted serial killer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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