What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you get santa to stop delivering presents? Kill your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you make a Jew cry? You kill all of their friends and family members.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Pick up lines: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're wearing a university of Tennessee sweatshirt. If I could rearrange the alphabet to put 'U' and 'I' together, I would not do it because I would have to reorganize all of my alphabetized files. Is it hot in here to you or am I experiencing early signs of a stroke?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a black person on a bike? A cyclist.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

joke

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the gay man do last night? Had a curry

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock -Who's there I eat mipe -I eat mipewho hahahah -Oh I'm gonna beat your ass

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did the dead cat say to the dead dog? Nothing, they're dead

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the Chicken cross the road? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +13

jcjdj

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q:John has 50 candy bars and he eats 45, what does john have? A: Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did you know brown and green rhyme? Just not with each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the polar bear bury his face into snow? because he saw the 241543903 post and wanted to join in so he used a portal gun to teleport his head into some guy's freezer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid the avoid the nuclear bomb at hiroshima

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is red, blue, green, and pink, tie died, and alive? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the chair say when someone sat on it? Nothing. The person's butt covered the chair's mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I walked into my maths lesson and my teacher told me to point out the uncommon variable. ..So i pointed at the ginger black man in the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? On a fundamental level, it was pursuing evolutionary instincts, perhaps a half-bored interest in food.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A Chinese man walks into a bar. With his thick accent, he finds it difficult to order drinks.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

knock knock who's there no one

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Today is May 18 2016.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops