P.E.N.I.S P-enis E-nis N-is I-s S

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I have a joke. Okay, tell me. Just kidding

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What happen when you put a Ciara and a Charlie together? They have sex.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 its not, they actually have a domestic partnership going

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How did my grand parents go about surviving the holocaust? Well, for starters, they weren't Jewish, they never lived in Germany, and to be honest, my grandparents probably would have supported the Nazi's because they are right wing pricks

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A blonde, brunette and redhead are walking in the forest when they come across a set of tracks. The brunette says, "Those are dear tracks." The redhead says, "Those are elk tracks." The blonde says, "Those are moose tracks." They are then hit by bus.

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Why was the Cubs fan sad? His wife just left him.

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Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

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Two blondes walk into a bar. You'd have thought one of them would have seen it.

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you know whats funny... nothing.

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An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

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How many average men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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What did the kid with no arms get for christmas? No one knows he hasn't been able to open his presents yet.

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Roses are Red Violets are dog I'm Senile Flower tastes like frog.

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Who would win in a chess duel between Ender Wiggin and Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl will calculate the optimal path to move his pieces. Ender Wiggin will calculate the optimal path to kill the queen, so all the other pieces just sort of fall down.

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What do you call a black priest? Someone devoted to the word of god

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Rigo your a stupid ass

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You know I can, and I already have, as once the mind knows its getting certain medications, it spends the energy required in order to achieve the effect, this is what psychiatrists and those assholes would call "psychological effect". With that said, I am still tired, and the stimulants are waking up my ouchies too, so I think ill get some sleep and dont worry, I can sleep with any stimulants as long as I can use my mind. By the way, my "hypnosis senses" are not hypnosis by themselves, but in order to hypnotize oneself and other, one must learn to read body language and stuff like that, something which I now do subconciously because I am experienced. Alice is calm again, her hands are shaking but she is cold, I am pretty sure she is far more tired than I am, so I kinda ordered her to go home, this guy can type for me. Just want you to know that I am doing fine now, and that the PTSD is much less severe than before as my brain no longer remembers the voice and looks my parents had back then, so I just feel my nose getting punched and breaking, its... Surprisingly annoying, so ill get some sleep, if nothing else it will help Alice get better, and I wont lie, I need it.

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What do you call a muslim on an airplane? A airline passenger.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you've been denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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What is invisible, weighs 332 pounds, runs 67.3 mph, is green, and is made by Jews in China. Nothing, if something is invisible, then it cannot reflect green light, therefore it cannot be green.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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