Why did the boy fail his test? He didn't study.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A deer. The fact that it has no eyes doesn't change the species.

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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What do you call a black priest? A black priest

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.

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That awkward moment when... Your mom is a guy.

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What salad was served in the salad bar on the Titanic? Probably a selection of green leaves, radishes, cucumber, sliced hard boiled egg and cherry tomatoes, topped with cress, mixed seeds and a delicate dressing.

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bees knees

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The town was so small. The ferris wheel was green.

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Where do black guys sit in the bus? Enywhere theres a free seat

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Nyan cat had pancakes for breakfast.

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A man goes to see his doctor and says "Doctor, I have a pain in my leg." The doctor replies "That's the least of your worries, I ran your blood test and you have AIDS."

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What did the train say at the party Thomas isn't really dumb ass

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The queen is killed on sunday there are three suspects the cheif the princess and the butler The princess' said she was getting lunch The cheif said he was making lunch The butler said je was getting the mail So who did it A: the butler they dont diliever mail on sunday

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs. A pharmisict.

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What did the zebra say to the giraffe? Nothing, they can't talk dipshit.

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How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

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What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

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How do you stop a baby alien from crying? Watch what its mother does to soothe it and then try and copy that.

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- Knock knock - Excuse me, I don't have time, my house is on fire ! - We're the firemen.

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What did the sushi say to the bee? Nothing, a piece of sushi can't talk and a bee wouldn't listen, stupid.

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Why did the Mexican choose the blue marker over the green one? Because he his favorite color was green, and it was Opposite Day.

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Roses are Red You're Black and Blue My fists seemed to have taken A liking to you

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Rudolf the rednosed reindeer died today. He was reported flying over Madrid when he was hit by a jumbo jet and a flock of seagulls. People are now saying that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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