Your mother's so fat, her blood type was Ragu

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Do you know what color comes after 9?

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What's the difference between a plumber and a husband? Both fuck the same women when the other is away.

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Q: whats snoop doggs favourite weather? A: drizzle

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What is worse than seeing a pile of dead minorities? Dropping a dollar.

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What do you call three mexicans in a bowl of soup? Whatever their respective names might happen to be.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Oh wait i screwed up, Because of u

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Q.What did the anti-joke reader say to the doctor? A-My finger is stuck on the dislike button.

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Your mother is so obese, that when shot with a high velocity round from a handgun, the bullet is unlikely to penetrate the several layers of fat protecting her vital organs, like a fleshy kevlar vest. However, she is likely to die from infection, which is highly commom among gunshot wounds.

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What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? Nothing at all, except the WNBA is professional basketball players of the female sex.

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A guy walks into a restaurant.... He ordered his meal , got desert and left a nice tip based off a percentage of his final bill.

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what should you say when your mates nan is in hospital with a broken leg??? ha ha my nan can stand up shes just genetically better

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Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga? one of them is a women the other one is not.

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What's the diffrence between one black guy and another black guy. One of them has Aids.

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... Unless your colour blind.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hello Carolina, let me lick your vagina.

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Why don't you play uno with Mexicans? Because they collect all the green cards.

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So after 2 years of dating, the man thought the woman actually loved him. So to find out they took a ski trip and during their day they were on the chairlift and the man asked the woman "Do you love me?" The woman replied "No...I'm just in it for the sex, but that's a nice ski mask you have on"

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Patient: Doctor Doctor I think I have HIV! Doctor: Wtf to that one...

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A Black Man Walks Into A Club.

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What has wings and windows? A bluebird, I was nodding about the windows!

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Whats sad about a city bus full of black people exploding. NOTHING

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How is a raven like a writing desk? It isn't.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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