knock knock , who there ray, ray who , ray winstone , I am your daddy you'll get your perks.

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What would you call the fatty cranial mass surrounding a malignant tumor? Ted Kennedy's Head.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer we're both lawyers

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Why did the girl fall of her chair? The chair can only hold so much weight.

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jcjdj

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody cause your a loser.

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What a gay guy get on his IQ test? 69

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How do you get a bird off the roof you throw an ax at it

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the danced cus they were young, they danced cus they were free, but mostly the danced cus they needed to pee

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What happens when a Jew, a black man, and a Latino walk into the bar? The potential for racial humor.

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How many average men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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Q: whats a bunny's favorite music genre A: smooth jazz

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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Your mother called last night. She wants her recipe back.

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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never bring a knife to a gun fight. bring a sword.

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What did the skeleton say when he was horny? Nothing. Skeletons are not living and therefore cannot be horny.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

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What do you get if you cross James Bond with Osama bin Laden? James bin Laden.

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Knock, knock. *answers door*

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knock, knock. come in.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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