Man 1:Doctor Doctor, I've got 59 seconds to live! Man 2: This is a chemist

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roses are red violets are blue ur family is dead and u will die too

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was an identity thief.

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What does the young boy say to the gay man Hello Jacob, because he was raised to respect and treat gays equally

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Jesus was a good guy

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What did Jennifer get in her college exam? She got a C minus

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a rapist.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the chicken had enough of life and wanted to commit suicide due to recent tragic events such as his cheating wife, his druggie son, his prostitute daughter, losing his home, and getting fired

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What you reading? reading?

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*you're

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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What happened when the prisoner dropped the soap? He picked it up.

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How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but she had a very muscular vagina.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you smell like crystall meth.

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Why was't the Elephant allowed on the Airplane? He didn't have a boarding pass

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Guess What? What? The gludeus maximus of an avian farm bird

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why are Asians such bad drivers? They're not: it is a racist stereotype that is propagated by people who are so insecure that they must put others down to feel good about themselves.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but his stomach was not big enough to finish. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free meal.

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Why can't Sally use the swings? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there?? ... Not Sally.

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A Duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'd like to buy some peanuts." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't sell peanuts." The duck turns around and leaves.

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Q: Why does my arm itch? A: I got bit on the arm by a mosquito

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How do you make a little girl laugh. You tell her something funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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