what has 4 legs three eyes and a horn? a:yo mama

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Little Jimmy has 100 candy bars, and he eats 95 of them. What dies little Jimmy have? Diabetes

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I was (really) asked one day by a guy if I wanted to star in a porn movie... Before I could even think about it he asked my 14 year old sister "Do you want to join in too?" And that kids, is why I am stuck in jail for pushing up a boot up a guys ass... Well replace boot with dick, and guys ass with my 14 year old sister and yeah... Naw... seriously she has hueg boobs though... at the age of 14, damn those melons have not even gone a bit greenish yellow and they are still growing... ...Hey Cassandra, its NeroMetal, good thing I am not your brother and that you are 19 right? NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THAT NEROISM DUDE THAT CHATS HERE, I play videogames, and write books, and sign books... ...Then some guy sees my real name is Nero and goes that guy on horsehead network? Who? HE SUCKS! SUCKS ASS!

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Straight men can be bronies.

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vaginas

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Whats sad about 4 blacks riding of a cliff in a cadilac. It was a rental.

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Why did the man die? Because he was unpopular and someone killed him with a gun. He is now dead. RIP.

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Alcatraz is reopened only for Kevin's ma

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knock knock ... no one was in

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What has 3 legs? An abnormal human.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, who shat in my garden

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Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

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In Soviet Russia my freedoms are severally restricted by communism.

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When we was Antarctica and it was cold we would huddles arounds a candles. What did we do when it was colder? We lit the candle,

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A: What do you call a Jew with only one arm on Christmas? B: An amputee.

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How do you make a Nazi mad? You slash his tires.

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So a seal walks into a club..

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Yo mamma's so fat, at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that if she did not attempt to control her weight gain through a careful moderation of her diet and began exercising on a regular basis, that her obesity would soon manifest itself in a variety of chronic health conditions that would permanently alter her ability to enjoy life and could significantly decrease her lifespan.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

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i shouldnt be on this cause im in class

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What did the retarded guy say to the other retaarded guy? A. Your retarded

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Why did the little boy ride his bike to school? It was a birthday present.

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What is worse than 20 babies stapled to trees? 1 baby stapled to 20 trees.

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what do you call an ocelot with ebola? an ocelot that might die soon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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