Why was Sally crying She got a high five In the face With a chair

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was crudely stapled to another chicken who insisted on doing so.

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"We all miss somebody a lot every now and then, its only human! But never give up, just keep reloading and firing until you hit that somebody!" Moral: Moral, answer me, MORAL MOOOOORAAAAAAAAL! DUN DU DURUN, DUN DUN DUN! *gunshot* (The moral section just because I love them red thumbs ^^)

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How do you make a model ugly? you shoot her in the face.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Throw it off the top of the Empire State Building.

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i don't get it...none of these are funny.

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what did you call a bench full of white guys? The NBA

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Why did the old man fall off his bicycle? Because somebody threw a fridge at him.

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so there are two muffins. no wait there are three muffins in an oven. actually it was a toaster oven. and they were covered in butter. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh cheese on toast anyone?

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knock knock who's there Berry Joe Berry Joe who? I just told you, Berry Joe. oh.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Robin Robin Who? Robin Williams Whoa, too early bro

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What does a paralysed mans legs feel like? We don't know, he is paralysed

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Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems show me your boobs

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Friend: "Hey man! Did you hear about the kid who bought the last hamster at the pet shop? Other friend: "No..." Friend: "Oh, well he shot himself last night."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Herpes, Now you do too.

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Q. What's short and black A. A little black kid

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How did the fat woman survive the car accident? She had on her seat belt.

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What's worse than giong to Hell? Nothing. Hell is as bad as it gets.

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Why did the Jew have very bad gas? He had very rough anal sex and air got stuck up his bum

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tight butthole 4 lyfe.

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Two muffins are in an oven. The oven is set to 425 degrees farenheit. The two muffins are taken out of the oven once cooked, and enjoyed by the couple who cooked them.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One of them I like to eat, and the other one is a watermelon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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