A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Because they're dead, they cant screw in a light bulb. Even if they were alive, it would be highly improbable that a baby could screw in a light bulb.

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What's worse than the holocaust? The sun exploding.

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Knock knok ! Whos there? Buhu ! Buhu Who? Why are you crying?

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People used to throw rocks at whores. Now they're throwing wood. *Hint. Hint.*

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What does a camel wear at war? Camelflage

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How do you get a blind man out of a tree? Yes.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Your Best friend. Did you forget what I looked like?

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what can you give to a millionaire to make him happy? sex

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Why did the Romans conquer everyone? They were power-hungry.

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what did batman say to robin before he got in the batmobile get in the batmobile

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

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titanic vs 9/11 who would win? Well the titanic backwards is a ship which saves lives and 9/11 backwards is a building on fire spitting out airplanes

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"What happened to John after he got drunk 12 years ago"- police "I don't really don't know that question"- John Jr.

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How did the man jumping out of the plane at 33,000 feet survive? Because he had a parachute

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You know what's funny? Lot's of things.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? John Simons. This joke lacks a punchline. Yes, yes it does.

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What did the blind football player say to his coach? I cant see

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How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doorbell repairman

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My heart is in my hands. Or maybe it's yours. Either way it's mine now. You won't need it anymore.

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why did the Chinese man fail the driving test because he had no previous driving experience and wasn't prepared for the test

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What did the little gril with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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