whats worse than being cold? having a pine cone shoved up your ass.

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Q. have you seen stevie wonders last album? A. neither has he.

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Whats Black White and Red all over? oh, wait. what time were we supposed to meet that landlord?

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Q. What roles did girls play in the Gold Rush of 1849? A. Miners.

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Q. you know who is so sad A. you for looking up a site for jokes that aren't even good

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Why did the shrimp refuse to share? Because he was a little shellfish.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Luke Futie

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Why did the little girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms..

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Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot for Arabian Air, idiot. What were you thinking?

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What did the white man say to the group of mexicans when a golf ball was coming toward them? 4!

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Why did the 15 year old commit suicide? Because his parents and 3 sisters died in a car accident and he went to live with his uncle, who constantly raped him.

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:y do people talk? ;idk :oh then nevermind

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What did the bowl of cereal say? Can I have some milk?

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What rhymes with bigger and can jump really high? Tigger

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What's the difference between you and a mallet with a cold? Ones a sick duck...I forget what I was about to say but your mother is a whore

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Hey Eliz, just a final thought, if and when I die (hey I am your step dad after all, dont forget I am four years older than you now! So ill die first anyway, hopefully) Promise me that you will call me on the phone and either yell SNAKE ANSWER ME SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! Or BOSS ANSWER ME BOOOOOOOOOOSS! Never mind, I never liked videogames ironically, but hey, its funny, Suddenly this Boss guy shows up, and I feel like I have something in common with someone! A game character anyway, and its a fucking boring game too, just sneaking around, then you got to well pay people to build shit and I shut it off by then... ...Finally the nurses are here... Those guys again, hey guys, I cant speak nor remember what button to press to delete shit, but I heard bogosexuals with an h, dont get the message, you see the man with broken fingers there, go get me female nurses or... They sleeping? And not with me? Okay guys, get me out of here, I am humiliating myself in front of my uh... Frienddaughtersisterthing as for the rest of you fucks, has it ever seemed like I have ever cared about your inferior opinions above my superhuma... I am drun or something huh guys? 60 MG valium? You fucking murderers! Well will that other dru.. Fine then... Nero The End? Seriously flaggots! I cant stop typing, just get me out of this... Wheelchair? When did that happen? Well roll me out then! And please you know, fill that code thing and the terms and all that.

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How can you tell I'm the biggest idiot in the room? Look at me.

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So a horse walks into a bar, animal service is called and after being unable to locate the owner he is put down.

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Q:Do you know why Jesus would not be a good goalkeeper? A:Because he never played football

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What did the blind football player say to his coach? I cant see

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Why did the plane crash? The pilots had brain damage.

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watch me nae nae

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What do you call a dog with 4 legs? A dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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