Person 1: Ask me if i'm an orange.. Person 2: Are you an orange? Person1: No..

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Q:What do you call a bird with wings? A:A bird -Ryan Vallee

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What do you get if you have 59 apples in your right hand and 74 pints of ice cream in your right? Large hands.

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Whats The Difference Between A Baby And A Watermelon ? You Can Throw One In The Air And Hit It With A Bat , And The Other Ones A Watermelon

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who should be competing in the paralympics? Brent the retard!

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What does 1 black person on the moon mean? A problem. What do 2 black people on the moon mean? A problem. What does every black person on the world on the moon mean? It's still a problem.

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I used to make jokes about taking arrows to the knee then i beat the game

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Why was Osama Bin Laden killed? Because he couldn't dodge all the bullets in time

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What is Oedipus' favorite tv show! How I Met Your Mother

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Q) what's black and white and red all over? A) a slaughtered zebra.

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What did the deaf person say to the comedian? ... ... ... ... I'm sorry, did you say something?

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What do Elephants and Grapes have in common? They are both purple, except the Elephant.

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what do you get when you cross an African with a Rhinoceros? A rhinoceros.

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Why did the yeti make an omlette? To practise making omlettes.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbi "why the long face?" The rabbi says "to get to the other side." Seeing the puzzled look on the bartender's face, the priest says, "orange you glad he didn't say banana?"

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Why did I get raped

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Why did the fat guy sit on another guy? They were in a wrestling match.

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There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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A man is driving down a back country road in an old beat up car going 30 mph when he notices a black horse and a white horse keeping pace with him. They keep up with him for a few miles before passing him and turning into a farm on the road. The man is quite impressed with the horses speed and follows them to the farmer and offers the farmer living there the horses in exchange for the car. The farmer says the horses are bad luck but accepts the trade, and the man walks off with the horses. The man then enters the horses in a big horse race and puts a lot of money on them. The horses immediately take the lead and are about to finish the race when the black horse trips and the white horse goes back to pick him up and end up losing. The man is furious and returns the horses to the farmer and gets his car back. The next day another man is driving in a nicer car down the same road going 50 mph when the black horse and the white horse run right past his car. Impressed with the horses speed the man trades his car to the farmer who warns him about the horses. Ignoring the farmer's warning the man enters the horses in a new race. The horses once again take the lead and are close to finishing first and second when the black horse trips and the white horse goes and picks him up again once again losing their lead. The man angrily returns the horses in exchange for his car. The next day a third man drives down the same road in a brand new sports car. While he's testing the limits of the car the horses catch up to him and run with him. Surprised by the speed of the horses the man speeds up in his car but the horses manage to keep up. The horses eventually run past the man and turn into their farm, and the man looks down and realizes that the horses had been running faster than 120 mph. The man goes to the farmer and offers his car in exchange for the horses. The farmer accepts but gives the man the same warning he gave the two men earlier. The new man just like the other two men ignores the warning and enters the horses into a race and bets a lot of money on them. This time the horse take the lead out of the gate but feet from the finish line the white horse trips and falls. The black horse seeing this goes back and helps him up once again losing the race. The man is disgusted and releases the horses into the city in hopes that they'll die out there. The two horses are wander into a bar, and the bartender looks at them and says: "hey you two why the long face?"

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A black man, a Mexican man and a white man walk into a bank. The black man reaches into his bag and pulls out his bank card, the Mexican and the the white man do the same as they need to withdraw money.

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Q: What did the chinese guy say to his friend? A: ??

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Whats worse then world war 3 world war 4

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how do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? with a blender. how do you get them back out of the bowl? with tortila chips.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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