My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

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Q: What do you call an exact duplicate of Homer Simpson who's been enhanced with numerous special powers and a strength-boosting inducer among other beneficial additions? A: A mobidly overweigth individual who hasn't realized what the phrase, "Go on a diet", even denotes/implies.

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Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

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Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

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Hey guess what? What? You're a Tree.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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How do you kill a Jewish person? Like any other person, they are like any other person of any race and religion.

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A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

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The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

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When The bus came by Jimmy went bye-bye

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Who's Juan? DIS ONE

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What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

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your moma is sao fat that she is gay . nope im sorry thats just mean.

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What did the cheerleader get for christmas? Money, because she's a stupid w hore

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Knock knock. Who's there? The IRS, please get out of the way.

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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