A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

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If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

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DO U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD BIRD BIRD, BIRD IS THE WORD? DON'T U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD? EVERYOBODY KNOWS THAT THE BIRD IS THE WORD! Oh, no i did not know that the bird was the word.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was walking.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? (I eat ma poo) Haha. ~Ali M.~

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Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

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How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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Whats green? Mountain Dew.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What mouse walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What bear walks on two legs? Winnie the Pooh. What duck walks on two legs? All of them, dumbass.

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at making jokes And your a jew

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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How do you cheat your friend up Throw a BRIC at her face.

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What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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Why did the chicken cross the road So he could get back to the farm and lay more eggs

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops