A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are all dead

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Why do zebras have stripes? I don't know.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did the teenage girl pee on a stick? She and her boyfriend had foolishly engaged in unprotected sex two weeks before, and she was now concerned that she may be pregnant.

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Why did the man have no head? It was blown off in Iraq 2 and days ago

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What happened to the little girl who fell into the lake? She was rescued and made a complete recovery.

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Why did I miss my bus? Because my watch was wrong.

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What did the depressed man get for his birthday? a rope

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Why couldnt the man buy food? Because.

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Hey Skrillex! Can you do me a favor and hold this bass for me? Sure thing, no problem. 3 seconds later... Oops! My bad! I just dropped it.

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Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death

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Chuck Norris has a chin under his beard.

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I like my wine like I like my children... Eight years old and locked in a cellar

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yada yada

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What do you call a black jew? Overcooked

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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A man says to his doctor, "doctor, doctor, I think I have a split personality." The doctor responds, "That makes 4 of us."

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Liverpool City Football Club

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar, he doesn't let a minor disablity distract him from having a good time.

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Why did the blonde go to the post office? Because she received a phone call from them indicating that there was a package for her.

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why did the bus roll down the hill? Children were playing in the street.

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Why is a duck? Because one leg is both the same.

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Chuck Norris once stared in a show called Walker: Texas Ranger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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