Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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So theres a Black guy, White guy and Mexican guy all sitting at a bar. They were friends.

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Pick a number between 2 and 8. Now multiply that number by 9. Now add the 2 digits of that answer together. (example 18 is 1+8) Now subtract that answer number by 5. Now choose the letter below that corresponds to that answer. 1 = A 2 = B 3 = C 4 = D 5 = E 6 = F Now pick a country that starts with that letter. Now pick an animal where the first letter of the animals name is the last letter of the country's name. Now think of a color where the first letter of the colors name is the last letter of the animals name. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Are you thinking of an orange kangaroo from Denmark?

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Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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A knock knock B who's there A nobody

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A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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What do you call a black man with a knife and red liquid on his hands? A chef who accidently spilled strawberry jam on himself.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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chuck norris threw a grande and killed 50 people then the grande blew up

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what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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