I met a muslim girl the other day Shes the bomb

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, one to suck my dick!

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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A frog, duck, monkey and beaver each enter a bar being carried by a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. If your wondering, the redhead carried two animals.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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Q: Why does it snow in Canada and not in Mexico? A: Because Canada is far from the equator and Mexico isn't.

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

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Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

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All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

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Q:Wanna know a funny joke? A:Womens Rights

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What happened to the couple that got married? They went on their honeymoon.

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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