What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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The man said to his wife love hurts. the wife then progressed with punching in the face.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

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Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

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So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

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What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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Man 1: my wife has lovley perfume. She smells like a peppermint cream. Man 2: Yeah, I know, I spent eight hours shagging her last night.

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Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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i saw amango it splootered

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Knock Knock Who's there? Max. Max who? Max who starts his greeting with,  "In accordance with Megan's law"  

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bike? I don't enjoy riding bikes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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