What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

Your mother is so fat she has to have her clothing specially ordered, this brought her to a massive credit card bill and made your entire family bankrupt.

Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

Hey guess whats funny? Matthew Mcconaughey Oh wait, never mind

A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

What do you call a latino with a limp? John...his name is John

Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

Two men walk into a bedroom. Did I mention they were gay?

What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

Hey, you why you say poo poo nae nae watch me whip, and do the dougie, and then happy halloween? Potato Salad

Q: Whats the best part of a bald pussy? A: After you put the diaper back on you perv!

What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

Why does Joel's breathe smell?

In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

What did the Banana say to the human. Nothing, because bananas are not capable of talking

An Asian walks into a bar with his girlfriend He proceeds to buy himself and her food Pays Then leaves

Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

What do you call a white man without a face? Dead. What do you call a black man without a head? Negger.

knock knock. who's there? just open. just open who? you're really dumb aren't you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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