Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

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What type of party do you throw when your fat? A baby shower.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

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What's worse than shitting whilst fucking? Losing your eye! Kelvin Yang

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

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Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

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knock knock whos there the game __i lost the game__

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how did the black guy get into school? he walked thru the front door.

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Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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what does 2+2equals? i think its 3 but i could be wrong

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how did the farmer die? his dog shot him

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What does a black kid get for Christmas? Your bike

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What's black and white and red all over? A greyish red object.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

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Q:Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because he lost all of his tongue due to the chemicals of cigarettes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops