What's big with fat all over it? Your mom on this dick

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Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

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Q: What would you think if a homeless person asked, "Spare change for drugs and cigarettes?" A: At least he was being honest.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

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How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

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how do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The fridge is on its side, the door is torn off, and the ruined food scattered all over the floor. Not to mention there is an elephant in your kitchen.

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Q. what tall and looks like a jew? A.TODD

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My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

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Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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A midget, a nun, and a kangaroo walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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Do you want to hear a joke, Women's rights

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A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

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one day a bear was eating for winter he ate about half what he had to and said "Im tired ill take a nap and eat the rest later. one month later he died of starvation

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"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

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Q:why is steven balmont gonna beat up mr fatty goral A:because hes a fat czech Shout out to my mandem lewis hall&moses

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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Why did the girl drop her sucker? she was hit by a truck!

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Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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