Q. What do you get if you cross a suspicious person with a paranoid person? A. Who wants to know

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave"

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While out looking for sex last week I met a hooker who looked like a rhino. I said to her, "Do you charge?" She said, "Sir, I am arresting you under the Street Offences Act 1959. You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court."

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q. What's the worst thing about your family a. There related to you

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What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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Knock Knock! F*ck off

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Why did Elmo get depressed? All his friends sacrifised themselves to satan

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being chased by other cannibal chickens.

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Why was the chair spinning Cause it wants to

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There once was a man from Duluth who's never did rhyme. They were often too short.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender lights him on fire.

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Why does a woman with a little dark skin and black hair a Native American? Because she smells.

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Well, you need to develop a particular mindset, and while scienTITS claim that its not logical so it does not work... Well, SUGAR, thing is that the mind and emotions, cannot be explained logically either. Let me expand your mind (if I have not already) A astronomer meets up with a brain surgeon, the Astronomer says to the brain surgeon: I do not believe in god. Why? says the brain surgeon. Because I have studied most of the outer space and never found seen any trace of God.

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one of the idiot

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the lizard fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the moneky

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What do you do when your archenemy walks up to you? Kill them due to their vulnerability, I mean they walked up to you...

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What did the cool guy say to Kelly Clarkson? Nothing, she's fat.

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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An indian boy asked his Dad,'Why do we have such long names?' His father didn't reply, he died on the road home.

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What do you call a girl who can run faster than me? Virgin

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it, they aren't going to come.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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