Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

What's better than a stick? A stone

What's blck and blue and doesn't like sex? The ten year old in my car.

A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

Death by kayak

A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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