Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Though if the ladder is rickety and she needs someone to steady it for her, two.

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Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

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A rat and a pig rape a puppy. Hey, that's just life.

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What did Aladin say to Mulan? Nothing. Although they are both Disney characters, they never appear in the same film, and therefore never communicate.

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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Why the kid fall of his bike? He got hit by a fridge.

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You dropped something.... Yo lip

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whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

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What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

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A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. What? You are about to die and be eaten. Asshole! i will murder you first!

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How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

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Women's Rights

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What did the strawberry say to the grape? Nothing, inanimate objects can't use verbal communication.

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What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

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What's funny and looks like a fish? A clown fish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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