Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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Whats the definition of not winning? Charlie sheen losing custody of his son because he is a coked out, old man douche bag, who only gets told what he wants to hear because he forks out lots of money to gold digging hookers.

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civil rights

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

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Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

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Did you know? that if you were to stretch out all your organs to see how far theyd stretch? youd die.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

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whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops