How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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a fat man walks out of mcdonalds

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Roses are red violets are blue shes for me not for u if by chance u talk my place ill grab my fist and smah your face

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How many inches of snow are there when the fireplace burns for 10 minutes? Red chickens

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What did the blondes left leg say to her right leg? Nothing they haven't met yet.

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Q: Whats the best part of a bald pussy? A: After you put the diaper back on you perv!

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

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Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

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Roses are Red, Vilots are blue Im going to kill myself Bye

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how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

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what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

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Romans rights.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

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knock knock whos there? i dont know arent you supposed to get the door?

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I'm going to rewrite history. History.

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Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

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Why did the boy stop working on a farm? His country became more economically developed.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Not Suzy!!

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

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whats short blonde and speaks spanish? my spanish teacher Mrs. Inman

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Most people like to drink beer, others do not.

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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