Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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How much signal does an Asian woman need to cut across 4 lanes? None

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

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Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

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What did the rich white student to the poor arabian teacher? good morning Mr.Stevenson.

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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What was the black kid carrying when he was running down your street? His television set

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whats brown and sticky? Doody

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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A blonde takes a math test it says find x? She circles x and puts there it is!

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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Why did the African boy die? He was denied any antibiotics to heal his severe case of mono and AIDS, and was living on dirty water and dirt.

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Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No.. Neither have they.

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops