my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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Who's obsessed with death and love to make jokes about it? The majority of the contributors in this site.

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops