What's Funny About A Black Man Being Shot? Nothing, That Man Was My Friend.

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Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Sorry babe, even if I was I would not tell you, the entire place is surrounded, but within enough of a distance, so we will plant a nice setup around the green shack so everyone assumes his deal was some solo operation, if someone else is heading at his direction now, you are gonna get busted, so you better stay down.

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How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

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Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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How do you keep your dog from running away? Put it on a leash.

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Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Today is Valentines Day I am depressed

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A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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Why did the blind boy cross the road? Why? The world may never know. He was hit by a bus

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In Soviet Russia, blonde is smart

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Why did Sally fall off her swing? -she had no arms knock knock whos there not Sally

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? He'd lost so much weight, due to AIDS.

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Roses are red Violets are blue These are facts that many people know

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What brown and sticky? A sticky turd

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What did the man say to the man with no head? You have no head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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