Q:What did the midget say to the toll booth operator? A: Is your family dead too?

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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Why do so many black athletes drive black cadillac escalades? Because it's roomy and they deserve to reward themselves after they put in so much hard work trying to be the best player they can be.

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A man walks into a bar with a giant banana as a head and the bartender asks why he has a giant banana as a head and the man says get me a drink and i will explain, the bartender got the man a drink and he started to explain why, so i found this real nice golden lamp and i rubbed it next thing you know this genie pops out and he said i get three wishes the first one he wishes for unlimited wealth with a snap of the genies fingers the wish came true next he wished to be the most handsome man ever with a spin and a snap the wish came true but this is where it went wrong, I said to the genie and i cant believe he got me with this one (because genies always put a twist on things) i said: i wish for my head to be a banana

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

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What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

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Roses are red violets are blue. I'm falling in love with you.

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what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

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whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

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What's the relationship between a frog and a building? They have nothing to do with each other so stop trying to figure out this query.

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What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

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Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? A: "Here come the elephants over the hill!"

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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2 penguins in a tub. one looks to the other an says, "pass the bar of soap." the other looks at him.."what do you think i am, a typewriter?"

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There's a 4 door kayak going down the street and it loses a wing. How many doughnuts fit in a dog house? And remember its not yellow, because snakes don't have armpits.

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Huffing glue only becomes a problem when you get stuck on it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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