Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

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How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

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Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

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I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

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Why did Jimy fell down the stairs, because he was adopted.

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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