Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

thumb_up thumb_down +6

roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

i punched my mother in the face once she cried

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops