Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and way, along came a spider who sat there beside her and asked, "Hey bitch what's in the bowl?"

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Knock knock? Who's there? Why don't you answer the damn door and find out for yourself?

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

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Today, my house burned to the ground. FML.

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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How did the man with no legs get around? He was assisted by a nurse or relative who was kind enough to take on such a task.

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Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

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What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

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What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

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Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

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Try this on some random person on the street... You: "Excuse me sir, do you know how to get to Farnsworth Street?" Man: "Sorry, no" You: "OK, you go straight ahead, then turn left on the second street. Continue about 200 feet, then......"

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So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

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wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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A man walks into a bar. He is now passed out on the ground. (TD)

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What do you call literature that's depressing and hard to read? ...a valued part of the English curriculum

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What is red and hangs around the back of a train? A miscarriage.

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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what did the lion tell the jellyfish? nothing, both lions and jellyfishes cant talk, and even if they could the chances of a lion meeting a jellyfish are remote

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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