As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

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Why doesn't Caillou have hair? Because he has cancer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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what ddo you call someone that has a small dick benjamin

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How do you get down from a horse?? You don't... You get down from a duck.

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

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How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

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Why did Jimmy fall of a building without a paracute? Because he lost a bet.

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What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

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What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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Why did the boy get and iphone? It was his birthday

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

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Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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