What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

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Why did the guy go to the store? He really doesn't want you to know every detail of his life.

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Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

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Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

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what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger....... unless it is a nonkiller disease that makes you extremely weak :D

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level? I can't remember... :(

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What does a black kid get for Christmas? Your bike

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Stop driving smart cars you fags

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

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I dyed my armpit hair blue yesterday because I wanted to start a new trend. My boyfriend later broke up with me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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