How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

Why couldn't Cait walk her dog? She's been paralyzed from the waist down since she was 5 after her and her parents got into a car accident and her parents died.

Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: BABABABABA BABABA RARARA LALALA ETC YOU GOT THE DRILL Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY!Ungrateful kids. Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Sociopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.Heck if you look at episode 34 you can see a tall handsome dude choking the life of a little boy in the background, and then letting him go just before he passes out and chokes him again? FUN FOR HOURS!

A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

And so the baseball says to the tractor........ Your not my dad

what did the man say to the person he hates? nothing!

How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

How do you drown a fish? You don't...

what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

What did the college student do during her Spring Break in Mexico? We're not sure, she never came back.

Micael Jackson enters a bar. Everyone screams, and then someone runs over and pulls the cheap mask off the impersonator's face. Michael Jackson IS DEAD, get over it

Why did the Mexican fall off of a cliff? He lost is ballence.

Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

What more orange that a lime? Most things.

a black guy walks into a store and is caught stealing things the police are called they get there and hes calmly escorted to the police car

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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