What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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What do you call a white man without a face? Dead. What do you call a black man without a head? Negger.

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What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

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What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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chuck norris once kicked a man verry hard that man proceded to lose contiosness and chuck norris was disqualified from the martial arts compatition

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Q. Why did my ass feel so sweaty? A. Because i was exercising and suckn on some nips.

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A man walks off the top of a very tall building. Why did he fall off? Because he was blind

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was baked.

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What do you get when you cross a hooker with five shots of tequila? Herpes

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Texas! You are doing it the wrong way! Learn from Hitler, gas is cheaper.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I've just bought a chainsaw, and I will now decapitate you.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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What did the toy cowboy say to the man? Nothing, toys can't talk.

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what word starts with the letter N and ends with the letter R that you never wanna call a black person? Neighbor

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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You say tomayto, I say ecstasy.

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Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

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If Donald Trump was in Game Of Thrones, he'd probably be a part of The Wall.

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THIS!!!!!!! IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SPARTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops