what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

Why are asians bad drivers? Driving schools in asia are severely less developed and therefore produce less experienced and skillful drivers. They also have asian eyes (:

How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

How many straight naked men can you fit in a wardrobe? I'm not sure but the situation is highly unlikely!

What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

Q:Whats worse then hard nipples A:The holocaust

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

Why did the woman come out of the kitchen? She didn't.

what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Go ask your mom.

You know what's a real drag? A club foot

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

what's worse then the holocaust finding a worm in your apple.

Why did the baby cross the road? he was taped to the chicken

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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