Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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what would u do if you were having anal sex with a black guy and his penis was sooooo big that it ripped ur asshole? staple it back together

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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a horse walks into the bar. the bartender asks why the long face.

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

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What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

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Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

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There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

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guy walks into a bar.... Ouch.

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

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A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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