Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

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Q:Wanna know a funny joke? A:Womens Rights

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All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

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What happened to the couple that got married? They went on their honeymoon.

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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What do you get when you cross a Chinese man with a dog? A happy Chinese man and a pile of dog bones.

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Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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Knock knock Who's there Joe Aids who's?

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Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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