A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

What's worse than a papercut? why do you insist on asking me these questions?

How did Allen Iverson compose one of the most well known interviews of all time? Practice.

Q: What happens if you pee on a rock and scraches it on a tree? A: The tree gets wet

Want to hear what's totally out of this world? Not wasting a whole page of space for something that doesn't even vaguely resemble a joke. [L]

What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

Q: Why did the boy have a bloody nose? A: Because a serial killer split his head in half with an axe.

Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and a Lepricon were driving 100 MPH towards a brick wall and crash into it. Who survived? No one, they all died due to the rate of velocity that the car was traveling at.

Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

What did one dog say to the other dog? Bark.

whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

A guy walks up to his boy and tells him, "Hey, if you don't stop masturbating you'll go blind." The boy says, "Who are you? Your not my father."

why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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