What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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why did you read this anti-joke? because you typed in antijoke on google or have the app on a phone

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Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

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Micheal Jackson walks into a bar

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Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

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Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

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If anyone has a KIK, put it in the comments.

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What did Hellen Keller say when she drove up to the stop sign? Nothing, she doesn't drive.

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a black guy, a handicap, a pervert, and a fat guy are sitting in at a booth in a bar... Your watching family guy

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Lets just say, that I can tell anyone that my brother is one of the top leaders for Interpol (here in the nation we reside in) and that while I do not have the required education to work for interpol, I have connections with them, which allows me to work, well... Yeah, Central.

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Your momma is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.

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A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

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At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

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What did the catholic priest do to the little boy in the Confessions Took his confessions

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lol

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

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Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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what do you do when mrs curaba gets heated through a fridge at her so she can cool down

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies?

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What did little Ben's mom give him for Christmas? Nothing. She died last month

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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