Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

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Q. what is your favorite food? A. Chicken, burritos, sandwich, rice, hot dog, turkey, duck, carrot, broccoli, eggplant, apple, blueberry, pear, raspberry, blackberry, orange, grapes fries, chips, cheese, pretzels, worms, and candy canes.

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why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

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Mommy how come daddy went to the doctors today? Well sweetie, honestly daddy wanted me to shove things up his ass And I refused to so he went to the doctors so they can do it...

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roses are red that fact is true but violets are violet not fu***** blue

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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How do you know when an Asian has robbed your house? You have informed the police, who in turn searched the house for DNA evidence, eventually leading them to the criminal, who just so happened to be a troubled Asian teenager attempting to join a local gang.

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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mohammed ali walks into a bar, gets a drink, signs a few autographs , and a good time is enjoyed by all.

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Why did the man walk instead of taking the bus? Because he felt like getting a heathy workout.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

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Guy 1: "hey look that homeless guy is riding a bike!" Guy 2 " Ya i know and look, there's a dead pro biker other there"

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What do you call 10 black people swimming down a current? A happy family

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life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

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What do you call a gay kid, a horrible singer, and has long hair for a guy? Justin Bieber

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability

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whats worse than a leaf in your bed? World hunger, global warming, the economy......

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How many chickens did Moses bring to the ark? 2

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Your mama is so fat but she is also a very kind and friendly person so her weight doesn't bother me at all,

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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Q: Why did the purple cantalope eat the curtains at midnight? A: Sassafrass.

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What do an onion and a hamster have in common? They are both in my Grandma's omelette.

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What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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