Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

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Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

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Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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Is your refrigerator running? I hope so, or else the food will go bad!

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knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

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What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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