What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

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Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

Whats grosser then gross? A dead puppy in a barrel. Whats grosser the a dead puppy in a barrel? A dead puppy in two barrels. Created by : go josh or ty :D

How old is victor? Half past dead

i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

Why is did the blonde cross the road? She was trying to catch the chicken.

If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

A black person and a white person decide to have a race. Who won? The white person Don't be a racist.

A blond, brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They find a genie, who tells them each one can have one wish. They all wish for the same thing, to be back home with their families.

How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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