Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it

How did the black guy get knocked out? He was hit by a fridge.

Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

what did the 14 year old boy get for christmas? nothing because he his sitting in prison for killin his parents and is serving a life sentence.

teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

I like the color potato.

What is worse than losing your phone charger... Being viciously raped by a group of angry vegans feminist mad at you for eating a burger, while walking out of Hooters.

how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby? You take your boots of before jumping on the trampoline!!!!!!!!!

Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

What happened when the high school student had intercourse with his history teacher? orgasmic noises.

Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

So a boy walks into a bar. He broke his arm and now is severly crippled

Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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