A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

I don't drink. I'm not 21.

Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

Jesus Christ

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

My name is Dave I like poems Microwave ummmmmmmmm (enter word that rhymes with poems)

why did Sallt fall off the swings? she had no arms knock knock who's there not Sally

Why did the chicken cross the road? You reading another one of these again?

Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

knock knock? whose there? i dont know. i dont know who? i dont know.

Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a brick at him.

Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

Jimmy comes home from school one day and goes to his mother. "Mommy, guess what?" "What?" "I had sex with my teacher today!" Naturally after hearing such news the mother gets appalled and tells her husband. "Well, that's my boy" he says "Now that your a man Jimmy we're going to go out and get some drinks tonight be ready in a half an hour." So they arrive at the local bar "Wait here son, you can sit down and save us a table and I'll go get the drinks ok?" "No dad I think I'll stand" "..why? What's the matter son?" "My butt hurts"

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 encountered 7 in the Vietnam War where he killed 6's brothers, leaving him scarred. 6 has countless nightmares due to the numerous visions that reminisce that situation in great deal. Also, 7 had a big hook on his hand, which was very scary.

Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

who is an indian that can not shoot a bow and arrow? David

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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