A man walks into a bar. He then takes a step back and notices that his head hurts.

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

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How do chinese name their kids? They drop silverware

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Guest what in the butt

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Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

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How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

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Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

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Why was the black man carrying the television away from the store? He bought it

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What's red and has four letters? A stop sign

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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What's the difference between a ball and a bouncy ball? A bouncy ball is bouncy.

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what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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golf is so gay i mean look at what they name the different clubs 3 wood 4 wood 5 wood 6 wood just give it a beat and you got a catchy song

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Why did the man ask the woman on a date? They were both single and looking for a unique, romantic experience that could possibly turn into a long-term loving relationship.

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A man asks his friend "what's black, blue, and red all over?" He repiles, "Nothing, because I'm colorblind."

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, your mother has AIDS.

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

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If there are anti jokes why are there no uncle jokes?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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