What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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Brain fart

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Caner.

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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Roses are red, and many other colors too.

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

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A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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