whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

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What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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What's big and white and wilbkill you if it falls from a tree? My dick.

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time to spruce up!

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there are three types of people in this world, those who can't count, and those who can. STFU, you corny loser

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Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

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Stop driving smart cars you fags

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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What's the difference between epistemological pluralism.

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What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

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caoimhin is a dorty carrot

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whats the point of anti jokes? A: the point that it is no point

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

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How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven is black

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hi

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Chickens are not smart enough to open a gate and avoid traffic at the same time!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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