What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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Reminding you of your religion. The army led by God attacked their foes at the mountains, yet had to flee because the enemy had plated steel wagons. Moral: Either God cant beat steel, or he was not there at all, its your call gents, because reading Ave Maria 50 times each time you sin, without reading the whole thing, does not even make you a Christian you FUCK (yes I can curse, you cannot)

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. You're adopted.

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mary had a little lamb it's fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went it did a massive shit

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A Muslim walks into a Bar, He buys everyone a round of drinks and enjoys the rest of his night

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Whats worse than spilling the milk? Getting raped by the easter bunny.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the squirrel.

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Why did the kids all eat their homework? Probably because they were starving to death and there was no other food source available.

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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What did the doctor say to his patient with cancer? "You have cancer...".

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what did the poor guy get for christmas POVERTY

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

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What's the best thing about shrimp? It never goes bad.

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Why didn't the cat play with the ball of yarn? It was drowned in a toilet.

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what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

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What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

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Hillo, its Spodermen, teiling u i fuked ur bich.

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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What did john say to bob Hey bob

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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