A man walks into the bar. It was typical day and nothing interesting happened.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Boy: Hey girl if I had hand-cuffs, I’d lock myself to you right now! Girl: I would find that extremely creepy.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Yo momma's so old, she lives in a nursing home and is on various medications that she needs to take to stay in optimum health.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why is my brother so bad at making anti jokes cuz HE HAS a sense of humor

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why is the sky blue? Time to get a watch.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did the Orange say to the Apple? Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why are some people so barbaric? Because some people are German.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What do you call people who play dance dance revolution? Dancers

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why was the pedophile in jail? For indecent exposure to a child.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

the moment right after you finish the last harry potter and remember the world wasn't saved and you still have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -42

why did the girl cross the road? no one knows because she was hit with a car and died on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What did the doctor say to his patient? You have 2 weeks to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Hi my names Sarah and I love baby's. I don't think I could eat a whole one though

thumb_up thumb_down -46

A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why is my penis so small? No, seriously, can anyone tell me?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

a horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "why the long face?". the horse answers..."i'm a horse"

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops