If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

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Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

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What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

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Whats worst than a cold? Being shot in the face repeatadly by a rocket launcher until death.

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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Josh brown loves Jessica Potts from Dylan xoxo

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and its killing his family.

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How do you blindfold an asian? step 1: Fold your blindfold into a triangle step 2: Wrap blindfold around the head of the asian step 3: Tie the blindfold on the back of the asians head step 5: You forgot 4 step 6: Your finished step 4: Tighten the blindfold Now you know how to blindfold an asian ˜´??

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If polar bears were pink they'd be very easy to find

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Jimmy: Knock, knock, Grandmother: Who's there? Jimmy: Jimmy Grandmother: Jimmy who? And then Jimmy held back tears as he knew grandmother's Alzheimer's disease was getting worse.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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