THER ONCE WAS A jueny WITH A TEN FOOT WENNY AND HE WENT TO SHOW IT TO THE LADY NEXT DOOR SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A SNKE SO SHE HIT IT WITH A RAKE AND NOW ITS ONLY FIVE FOOT FOUR!

why did the chicken cross the road it didnt it got eaten

If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

What do you call a man with no legs? A leg-less man.

How did the fat man die? He was fed porrage until he died. Who killed the fat man? Leonardo DaVici How did Leonardo Da Vinci die? Natural causes (Actually I have no idea how Leonardo Da Vici died but if I am wrong please correct me) Thank You for your coperation.

swag

What did the cop say to his belly? "Hey in there!"

What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

Cancer

What is the definition of child abuse? Ms Bazan

whats worse than catching your parents having sex? having sex with your parents

What did the man say when he realized that he was late for work? "Shit, I'm late for work."

Why was the multi-millionaire entreprenuer sad? He went bankrupt.

What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

What did the black boy wear for Halloween? A costume.

What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

Suck pussy

What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

Gregory: Hey, aren't you that pretty girl I saw from the party? Jenny: Huh? Gregory: No wait, it can't be you. Because you are WAY prettier. Jenny: Aw, that's so sweet, lemme give you my phone number. Gregory: Okay I'm ready to copy Jenny: It's 1-800-get-a-life-loser Gregory: Biitch

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...