What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

Why did helen kellers dog committ suicide? You would to if you had massive clinical depression.

A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

ur left leg is cristmas nd ur right leg is thanks giving can i vist

What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

What has 389,236,587 arms, has rainbow colored fur, and fornicates on your front lawn? Absolutely nothing. That's pretty much physically impossible.

What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

Why did Sarah fall of the swing... She had no arms. Knock knock, who's there... Not Sarah. Face Face, who's there... Probably Sarah.

Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

What did the man on the moon say? Nothing. He died because his supply of oxygen ran out.

How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

Why is did the blonde cross the road? She was trying to catch the chicken.

A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

What do u call a dumb Asian. An american

what did Tim get for Valentimes day? nothing, no such day exists. spell check

Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

curtis campbell has no ear lobes so he bought some milk and drank it with his cereal.

Q: What happens if you pee on a rock and scraches it on a tree? A: The tree gets wet

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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