What did Hitler say to the Nazis? I have a mustache.

What do you call an iPod that doesn't work? An iPod that doesn't work.

What did the Apple Tree say to the Oak Tree? Nothing.

Why did Jimmy fall over? Jimmy was hit by a bus.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf.

why did the girl fall off the swing..? because she became unbalanced and the force of gravity extended on her was too great to prevent the fall

Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

Why is the sky blue? Because it isn't red.

How many blonde chicks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to set the house on fire, and the other to call 119.

troll lololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol.olo90ololol.o.ool.olololol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.o.o.lol.ol.ol.ol.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

[Insert anti-joke here]

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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