What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

What do you call Charlie Sheen when he's on drugs? Charlie Sheen.

So these two girls have a cup .

What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

what did the chicken say when it crossed the road? you know. chickens arent the only animal that can cross roads! why can it be why did the racoon cross the roads? because that happens more frequently!

Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

There is a Asian a black guy and a white guy the black guy loves apples the white guy loves pears and the Asian loves Macaroni the white guy gets a apple the black guy gets a pear and the Asian has no lunch so the black guy kills the white guy for the apple and the Asian kills the black guy because he is hungry

A gay man goes out with a butch lesbian and develops a loving relationship, years later they get married and have kids, adopting them from the local orphanage and lives happily ever after.

Why did the black man get fired? In this economy businesses are downsizing and outsourcing jobs for cheaper labor.

What is a black, yellow like liquid that contains carbon dioxide, usually kept in a can, and is not coke? Pepsi.

What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

What happened to the couple that got married? They went on their honeymoon.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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