How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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Why is the earth round? Because God saw it was flat and thought "too flat lets turn it around" And all was good.

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why couldn't the girl make her bed? she is homeless.

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There are 3 prisoners inside a cage. All the prisoners are blind folded and wearing hats. They are told there are 5 hats all together, 2 blue hats and 3 red hats. If one of them can answer what color hat they are wearing they are all set free. However, they have no idea what color hat they are wearing, only what color hat the other prisoners are wearing. They are also not allowed to tell what color the others are wearing. So the game begins: The first prisoner takes off his blind fold. The guard says "What color hat are you wearing?" and the first prisoner says "I don't know." The second prisoner takes off his blind fold. The guard says "What color hat are you wearing?" and the second prisoner says the same thing, "I don't know" Now the third prisoner didn't even need to take off his blind fold. He already knew the answer. He said, "Sir, I know I am wearing a red hat" The guard smiled and all the prisoners are set free. Why? If the first prisoner saw the other prisoners blue hats then he knows he's wearing a red hat because there are only 2 blue hats and 3 red hats. But he sees one guy wearing blue and one guy wearing red, so he says "I don't know." The second prisoner took off his blind fold and the same thoughts occur. If he saw the other prisoners wearing all 2 blue hats, then he knows he's wearing red. Instead, he sees one guy wearing a blue hat and the other guy wearing a red hat. So he says "I don't know" Now the third prisoner doesn't even need to take off his blind fold. Why? He heard the other prisoners saying they don't know, which led him to believe that all they saw was blue and red hats. That means if he takes of his blind fold he will see that both of the previous prisoners will be wearing blue hats and since there are only 2 blue hats available, he must be wearing a red hat.

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Whats Brown and fluffy ASIAN TITS

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A guy walks into a bar, unfortunately for him, he walked in on a huge bar fight and managed to get the hell knocked out of him as he entered the door.

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Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

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FRED CLEAN YOUR ROOM! Ok mom, I'm done "Nothing is cleaned" Well.. I tried

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The awkward moment when you find your wife on the online dating site you are on.

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What do you get when you run from Long Island to New Mexico? Tired.

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What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

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What do you call a gay kid, a horrible singer, and has long hair for a guy? Justin Bieber

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How do you greet your great great grandmother born in 1738? Hey, what's up, hello.

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a blind person walks into a deaf person and the deaf person says "dadadader"

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why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

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Kevin and Ramin

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Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

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What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bike? I don't enjoy riding bikes.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five fingers The third one's for you

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

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When life throws knives at you, run away.

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How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

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What did the black man say to the watermelon? Watermelon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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