Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what can you blow up and sleep with at night? An air mattress

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats worse than getting broken into by a robber? Looking at Obama

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

thumb_up thumb_down -11

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Will farrow now gimme your hentai"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did a blond killed herself? She couldnt find a corner in a round room.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How are this and that alike? They aren't.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

how do you call someone? use a phone

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do an eagle and a off-white light bulb have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you start a riot in Mexico? Roll a penny down the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's round and cheesy? A cheese wheel.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

thumb_up thumb_down -11

The awkward moment when you find your wife on the online dating site you are on.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your mama is so fat but she is also a very kind and friendly person so her weight doesn't bother me at all,

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a gay kid, a horrible singer, and has long hair for a guy? Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many chickens did Moses bring to the ark? 2

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops