Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

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roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

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Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

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They found Michael Jackson dead in his house and found Madeleine McAnn in the cupboard 8P

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's not funny.

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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