What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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how do you get rid of diahreah? Shove pepto bismo up your butt.

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how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

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How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

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whats red round and gets smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potatoe peeler

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This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Knock knock. Who's there. To get to the other side.

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OMG my mom just let me go to a concert in feb 31,2012 wohoo! LOL

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Part 1 Q: what did Sally get for Christmas A: cancer Part 2 knock knock Who's there Not Sally MR

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

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Whats 9 inches long, pink, and makes women scream? A miscarriage OuO

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didnt it got eaten

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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