I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

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My name is Dave I like poems Microwave ummmmmmmmm (enter word that rhymes with poems)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? You reading another one of these again?

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Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

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Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

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What is the definition of child abuse? Ms Bazan

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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What do you call a Jewish dinosaur? Fossil Fuel

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ok when a fat person say he on a diet i said your on a sea food diet what evert you see you eat now get back to school John f kennedy students

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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What did the cop say to his belly? "Hey in there!"

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what does wtf stand for? what? i was asking you!

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how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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two men write a poem one says quack the other says woof what is the middle of the number witch is amazing because who ever is reading this you are beautiful and have chucken food ion your cheek bone connected to the knee cap indeed i shall write on to you guys saying how lovley it is TO MAKE FIRENDS WITH CHICKENS

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You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

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What's weirder than an asian? His dinner

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Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops