What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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What did the Jew say when he walked into a bar? Ouch!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Me either. Well, later. Later.

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a motorcycle nothing, I dont have either

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who pooped in my garden?

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Why did the retarded man fail his math test? He didn't study.

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What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

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What did the alien say to the other alien? It's hard to say. They could use an inefficient form of aural analog communication, or a hyper-advanced form of telepathy. Either way, modern science hasn't brought us far enough to determine.

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how do you get a scouters power level to 9,000? power levels dont exist in real life therefore cannot reach 9,000

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Roses-are-red violets-are-blue Justin's-for -me Not-for-u if-by-chance u-take-my-place I'll-grad-fist &-smash-ur-face

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Say you are caught in a net with 10 other people in said net at a construction site. A pair of scissors are right next to you and everyone said to use the scissors. But instead of using the scissors, you use your teeth in risk of a broken tooth.

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Whats happening when you see your TV floating at night? You are probably suffering from some sort of mental disorder which causes spontaneous hallucinations and should seek medical help before the condition worsens.

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whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican has elbows.

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Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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What did the Asian say to his racist friend? You're racist

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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Why so serious ?

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Person1: Man I had the worst day ever. Person2: Worser than the holocaust.

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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"Have you heard the one about the trannie?" "No, what is it?" "Wow, that's offensive." -Juanita

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Q: What did the hooker say to the priest? A: That was a wonderful sermon. I look forward to next Sunday's church service.

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An American, an English and a Scottish got in the bar and ordered the same drink. After that they left.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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