I told my doctor I’m the first man on the face of the earth to suffer from morning sickness. He promptly corrected my mistake; my excessive vomiting is actually caused by chemo.

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How does an asian man drive? He hops into the car, turns the ignition, slowly accelerates from his parking spot and merges into everyday traffic

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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Q: What did the Catholic man say in response to the gay man asking what he likes to do? A: golf

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

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What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

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How do you name a beast who eat rocks and fly. rock-eater flying beast

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

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What do you call a concentration camp with a mental disability? Auschwistic.

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A black man and a white man crash their cars. they promptly exchange insurance information and apologize to each other about the inconvenience.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,8

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks: "why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus being incapable of comprehending the complexities of conversation said nothing, and shit all over the floor.

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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Why is my penis so small? No, seriously, can anyone tell me?

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Jake likes to have tickle parties with McCauley Culkin.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know I asked you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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