Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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Rap. Skate. Smoke.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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Q: What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? A: Shoveling them out with a pitchfork.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad your whole family isn't dead from a fatal car accident?

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

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What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

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Your mom is so fat that her Body Mass Index is 30,?which is considered obese, she should really try to lose some weight.

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Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

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What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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charly ate an apple. the apple was filled with poison and charly died.

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

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what would u di if u were having anal sex with a black guy and his dick was soooo bi that ir rippped ur asshole? staple it back together

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Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

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pants on the ground pants on the ground lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground

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What do you call a girl who has slept with five guys? Her name.

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It's likely that very few people will read this.

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Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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