What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer..... Just Kidding! He got a bike!

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Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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what did old retarded autistic ginger kid get for his birthday? i dont know thats why i asked

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If you just read this, You're dead.

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What's worse than failing a school test for Peter? Nothing, because he is asian.

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What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

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Who looks like a bird and can fly to hogwarts? Dean McKee. his scar is f u c k i n g rotten

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Der Ter-Rerks, nern ter serrentersts ers "Terernerserers Rerks", wers er dernerser dert lerved ern der Certersers perrerd. Ert wers er mert erter, prering ern smerler, plernt-erterng dernersers serch ers herdrersers ernd serrerperds. Ert erser hernterd der herned herberver Tersererterps, werd erverderns erf ferts ferned ern der ferserlersed rermerns.

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

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why was the little boy sad he found out he had breast cancer

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Q) What do you get when you cross a brown chicken with a brown cow? A) An abomination

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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