Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

See you later... Just joke I'm blind

When life hands me beef, I make lemon stew.

Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

What did the Rabbi say when the Priest asked how his family was? The Rabbi breaks into tears as he explains his family was killed in the Holocaust.

What's worst than being stung by a bee? being stung by two bees. what's worst than that? The Holocaust. What's worst than that? being stung by three bees.

what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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