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Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

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How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

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What tastes worse than dog shit? White dog shit.

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Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What do you call a chicken with no feathers, no guts, and no head? Fried chicken

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

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John: Hey Debbie, do you wanna go see a movie with me? Dina: My name is Dina

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2 black guys, a colombian guy and a white girl are sitting at a bar. They are friends.

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how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

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A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

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A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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I met a muslim girl the other day Shes the bomb

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I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

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Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

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A coyote walks into a bar, because human development has rapidly destroyed his natural habitat. He mauls three patrons.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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