A man and a woman walk into a bar... They both die from cerebral hemorrhages.

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

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Why did the gay man sneek out of the brothel? Because he was ashamed of his well paying reception job

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A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

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how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

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What is funny about civil and women's rights? Nothing, they are very serious matters.

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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What do you call an blonde, brunette, and a redhead? There has yet to be a definition for a group of people categorized by hair color.

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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What did the Asian say to his racist friend? You're racist

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a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

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A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

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Q: What causes earthquakes? A: Your mother walking.

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

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Where was the Decoration Of Independence Signed? At the bottom.

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What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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whats white and black, and red all over, kiren poping jacob cherry

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

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What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

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Suck pussy

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Q-Why did the man fall out of the behemoth A- he had no legs

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How do you stop an aboriginal from drowning? Take your foot off his head...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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